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Why We Need Quiet & Why It’s Hard

By March 26, 2015 10 Comments

“I need someone. I need to hold somebody close. And I need more than this holding.”
Betty Smith, a Tree Grows in Brooklyn

{my images are free goodies for you to enjoy & share}

Quiet isn’t the absence of noise or voice.

Quiet is a quality of putting everything to the side that isn’t important, but demands you to perform.  To produce and please.  Instead of being you.

You experience quiet in your soul — when you give yourself permission — to be you.

Quiet is an intimate movement to be at rest. To listen. To receive. To enjoy.

To lay aside everything that is distracting you from being God’s beloved.

Quiet is an experience — of enjoying something that may be filled with sound — like hearing a bird sing, as you walk on a dirt path,
the sound of your pen writing across the page,
listening to your friend chat at the table with your hands around a cup of hot tea,
the crunch of a crisp salad as you eat lunch outside,
driving with the music turned off, as you look into the landscape,
arranging some fresh flowers, as your favorite music streams into the air,
feeling the pages turn in your hand, sitting in the sunlight to read,
hearing water move as you settle into a steaming bath.

We discover quiet moments present itself to us when we accept that we are in progress and incomplete.

When we are no longer striving — and desperate — to change our stories right now — we are able to recognize moments to nurture our soul.

We release ourselves to find beauty — and take time to enjoy it — because we have accepted — and embrace that we are in fact on a journey, and not a test, a project, or a race.

We need quiet, the way a flower needs sunlight to bloom.

And I guess that’s why quiet is hard too.

How willing are we to see ourselves as quiet blossoms of beauty?

That’s how Jesus sees us.

Quiet Blossoms

Jesus took time for quiet.

And Jesus encouraged his closest friends to do the same –

Jesus said to his disciples — “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” Mark 6:31
Jesus left crowds, even though more work could have been done — “Leaving the crowd behind, [the disciples] took him along, just as he was, in the boat.” Mark 4:36

You know that moment, before you close your eyes and feel the touch of lips brush against yours for a kiss with a man who takes your breath away? There is quiet.

Before the horse hairs on a violin bow touches the string in a quartet and music fills the space — there is quiet.
Before the morning casts its first light against the floor of your kitchen, flowers bloom and awake in quietness.
Our relationship with Jesus longs for quiet, the way a flower needs sunlight to blossom.

spiritualwhitespacebookA Spotlight

Here below is an excerpt from my book Finding Spiritual Whitespace about nurturing quiet and rest.

“Whitespace in design identifies importance. Depending where whitespace is placed – in web design or an advertisement – it brings what’s important to our attention, allowing the rest to fade into the sidelines.

Whitespace acts like a spotlight, bringing an intimacy and immediacy to the page – awakening the foreground and quieting the background.

When we enter into the whitespace of quiet, we feel the same awakening with God.

Quiet signifies intimate confidence in your importance to Jesus.”

Let Jesus get close to you – choose a moment of quiet today. No matter how brief.

Return to being God’s beloved. And you’ll be renewed to naturally love those in your life.

But, you have to be the one to take time. 

You have to choose spend time in the spotlight of Gods’ love.

You May Need To

You may need to —

quit something - to begin your journey as God’s beloved.

walk away from something  - to walk closer to God.

let go of your own expectations - to be a perfect mom, housewife, career woman, friend, worker, minister, writer, artist…whatever it is that’s pulling you away from quiet.

let go of perfect. So you can be loved instead.

disappoint others who have expectations on you - to prioritize your well-being.

There may be big life changes. Or small ones. You may have to —

- change jobs, have a hard conversation that ends up messy or allow things to be broken (for now, so the healthy boundaries or healing can happen for you).

- hire a babysitter, pay for housecleaning once or twice a month, ask for help, tell someone you can’t go, do, or fulfill a commitment you made earlier.

- lower your standards, give yourself grace, speak up for yourself, apologize, be kind instead of strong.

You are doing this for a season, to create space — spiritual whitespace — to renew the parts of you that God longs to refresh.

Are you afraid?  That is okay. Because Jesus loves you. He is with you. He will help you.

[Bible Croissant]
“”Come away with me by yourselves to a quiet place and rest a while.” Mark 6:31

** Who can you share today’s encouragement with?**

 [Try This]
Choose a quiet moment over busyness or getting something done
This is often a small moment. That only you know.

Enjoy something quiet with someone you love.
This principle of quiet applies to the relationships that are important to us.

Allow me to share two moments from this past week I shared on Instagram,
where I chose to enjoy quiet with those I love.


hiking_redwoodsLast weekend, it was my turn to pick what Eric and I would do for our date (it’s not a hard and fast rule, but we take turn choosing what we’d do, whether it’s place to go for dinner or how we’d spend our time).

I chose an afternoon date hiking among the redwoods.

Something special happens when you go where there is no cell reception among growing things that rest in silence.  You hear birds rustle their wings along tree branches, see how green looks as sunlight rests on a blade of leaves.  You feel the tenderness of your hand being held, as you walk with the one you love, as quiet softens the air and sweetness it with soulful conversation.

“Most of the things we need to be fully alive never come in busyness.” Mark buchanan



I had an intense but good therapy session last week. uncovering a childhood memory that brought Jesus close to my heart. as I left, I felt in the mood for a childhood favorite. so i picked up josh & caleb after school & drove my boys & I across town to step into the warmth of a Chinese bakery & bought three egg tarts. “don tat”. still warm from the oven.

{Jesus cares about us, and made time to cook fish fresh over fire and kept bread warm on stones hot from the flames the morning he resurrected … on a quiet beach for the disciples who were weary from fishing all night long without any catch. jesus could have chosen to be with anyone, in the moment of his triumph. he could have turned the stones into bread. but he chose instead to sit by a fire, turn fish by hand, and make breakfast for tired and weary friends who had given up and returned to their old lives. jesus knew the comfort of hand cooked food would nourish their soul & their bodies. let God love you today. By taking time to stop. Savor something warm and sweet. A moment. Just between you and Jesus. Just slow. (excerpted from my book ‎Finding SpiritualWhitespace} #‎soulrestbookclub‬


This past season of prioritizing soul rest has become a blessing in disguise. I struggle so much with feeling guilty feelings of prioritizing or choosing what feels restful to me.

But, my journey to make room in my life for soul rest during a season of anxiety has become such a blessing. I’m rediscovering so many treasures i’ve put to the side … simple things like stopping to slow and just enjoy childhood favorites (they’re enjoying “don tat” chinese egg tarts here).

My boys are now enjoying them and they are becoming their childhood memories with me. the more I nurture my soul, the more i’m writing a piece of my heart onto my boys’ hearts. Not just of what I believe but who I am — because of what I believe. a mom and a woman at rest, present and real, embracing all parts of my story. I love sharing my childhood stories with josh and caleb (real ones I make age appropriate) and I feel a new soulful trust & friendship deepen between us, as I connect with their hearts with mine. {God uses all our stories. as we share our world with our children, they grow to trust & confide their world with us. “You are a letter of Christ…written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone, but on tablet of human hearts.” 2cor3:3} #spiritualwhitespace #bethebeloved


How can you choose quiet?

Pull up a chair. Click to comment.

Don’t Forget Paint Nite Next Week 3/30/15

( It’s Free & I’m hosting! Get the details by clicking here)


Beloved Brew Link Up
Whole-hearted Writing. You & Jesus.


Welcome to our Beloved Brews weekly link-up! Pour out a little love with your words every Thursday {publish any day. link-up on Thursdays}. Simply write a blog post from your heart about what God’s sharing with you and then share it here. Don’t have a blog? Share a comment. Visit to read the comments & share your voice too.

Optional Writing prompt:  {write a blog post from your heart about what God’s sharing with you} or {share your thoughts on “quiet” (psst.. it’s the week before  Easter… so it’s perfect for soulful Easter reflection!)}

Please use the Beloved Brews button in your blog post so others can join in with us {use this html code here}. When you link up your post, read & leave an encouraging comment on the post linked up just before yours. Thank you!


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