It was the last year of junior high. The clock was ticking down before the boy with sandy brown hair and big brown eyes would be off to a different high school than mine.
I had a crush on him since the beginning of seventh grade, but I never got the nerve to talk to him. Until we started dance lessons in gym class. Finally. Square dancing was just the ticket.
We were told to pick our partners to do-see-do. I took a deep breath, and made a bee line to Paul. The gym suddenly felt too warm, like a furnace burning right where I stood.
I smiled. “You wanna be my partner?”
“Hell, no! Are you kidding?!”
I’ll never forget that moment. I wished I was dead. Then, he walked away.
The Golden Rules Of Rejection
I didn’t know what was wrong with me. But, I believed something definitely was.
I was rejected.
This little incident was very big. I drew some lessons that I call The Four Golden Rules of Rejection:
1. Avoid getting rejected.
2. Play it safe.
3. Don’t be a fool.
4. Don’t think you’re all that. ‘Cuz you’re not.
This adolescent memory of rejection was merely the first of many waiting for me in life.
There was — just a sample — losing friends in college, getting dumped, failed interviews, being judged by others, even in ministry, and affections that weren’t reciprocated.
A Mode of Acquiescence
I learned that no matter how confidant I could be about an outcome, I could fall harder than hard. I wish I could say that I’ve learned to dust myself off each time and got back in the saddle.
Sometimes, when you try to live a life, some injuries go deeper than expected. There are hurts that last beyond what actually happened.
The real damage happens when we carry “The Four Golden Rules of Rejection” into as many areas of life as possible.
We slide onto a precarious ledge of rejecting the life God has waiting for us.
… We people-please.
… Say what we think others want to hear.
… Repress our desires.
… Lose our vulnerability.
We move into a mode of acquiescence, rather than living. We become invisible.
How do we combat the fear of rejection?
We reverse the paralysis of risk-adverse living — by following The Four Golden Rules of Fearless Living.
“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” 1 Timothy 1:7
NOW, IT’S YOUR TURN, FAITH BARISTAS!
Pour your shot of faith. Write a post on the topic “Rejection” on your blog and share it here with us. Just enter your link below. If you don’t have a blog, you can still share by posting a comment.
I’m looking forward to drinking in your brew! I’d like to encourage us to read the posts shared and comment (as your time allows). By writing what’s true in our lives and giving voice to what we really think and feel, we’re practicing fearless living together.
By keepin’ it real, we’re keeping our faith real.
One faith barista who shares a post today will be randomly selected to win a Faith Barista Coffee Mug — to pour that extra shot of coffee, to go with those extra shots of faith! Check it out!
A big thank you goes to all the faith baristas who served up special brews on rejection! I have been thinking about the posts this weekend — It is amazing to connect and fill in pieces of the puzzle from each of your experiences. Thank you for taking the time to share.