“Come away with me…
I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won’t you try to come?” – Norah Jones, Come Away With Me
Everybody knows when someone’s in love. They tend to disappear.
You can’t always reach them when you dial their number.
It may be days before you hear back from an email.
Her plans for every weekend aren’t a real mystery.
Your friend and her love are spending time together — spending it like there is no tomorrow.
Isn’t that what love-that-feeds-your-soul look like?
Love that touches your soul can make time stand still – and yet mysteriously use it up in a blink, like warm maple syrup poured over fresh pancakes on a crisp autumn morning.
As a married woman, making time to escape with my husband is one of the most satisfying ways to feed my soul.
At The Core, At The Center
As a married couple, there are so many things we shoulder together. We work hard side by side to till the soil of life and brave the ever-changing elements of raising children and making a life.
There is always a long list of things to get done and problems to solve. Never a shortage of pressures, uncertainties and tough decisions to be made. In the background, voices call out to us: work, family, obligations, school, friends.
These are all good things, but they don’t feed the soul.
There is a part of our connection that can’t be replaced by functioning as a good team.
At the core of our emotional intimacy is a soul connection.
At the center of our soul connection is friendship — and friendships take time.
For me, I can’t turn off the everyday operational mode very easily.
To nurture intimacy and get into that emotional zone, I need:
- quiet spaces
- holding hands
- looking into each other’s eyes
- long talks without the pressure of interruptions
Coming up with ways to get away with my husband is one of my favorite things to do.
Sometimes, just knowing I’m planning something just for the two of us makes my soul breathe.
Both To Receive
This world constantly calls us to give.
Planning time for us is a way for both of us to receive.
What’s about our time together is we
1. Splurge time on each other. Everything and everyone else can wait.
2. Keep it simple. The purpose of soul-feeding, not soul-stressing.
Once a month, I plan a date out for us.
It will include coffee, strolling and enjoying a meal.
Outside of our date nights, I do in-house dinner date nights:
Feed the kids left over from the night before and put them to bed earlier.
Start the “date” off by playing music to set the mood (jazz standards, country romance or 80’s faves).
While I cook a very simple meal, we enjoy conversation together.
By the time dinner is ready, the kids have fallen hard asleep.
I clear the dining table of books, toys and knick-knacks.
Turn down the lights, light the candles, and set the table.
When I’m too exhausted to do in-house dinner date night:
We snuggle up for popcorn and a flick, or
I fix up some fruit just us and chat on the sofa.
When life gets hectic, these rhythms allow us to breathe.
We find safety with each other and return to a place in our souls where there is quiet to be savored.
Next time, if you’re wondering why I haven’t gotten back to you on that email, don’t worry.
I haven’t disappeared. It’s probably the kids and yes, it’s also taking care of life in general.
But, on some days, it won’t be for any of those reasons. It’ll just be me spending time with my best friend. Savoring soul rest with him.
“Come away, my love! … Let his left hand be under my head And his right hand embrace me.” Song of Solomon 8:14, 2:6
What are simple ways you enjoy time with your husband?
What encourages or hinders spending time together as a couple?
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Photo credit: jenniferqm via Photobucket.