Everybody wants to be happy. So, what’s keeping us from it and what does faith have to do with it?
I’ve been getting hate mail these days. They don’t actually spell H-A-T-E, but by the time I’m done reading, I feel pretty rotten. Last week, I was on the hook to speak at a women’s group at church last week and the nasty messages arrived fast and furious.
Let me give you peek into one of these letters —
“Dear Bonnie,
What makes you think you’re so special? I know what you’re really like. You keep making the same mistakes over and over gain.
You second guess yourself, worry and buckle under pressure. You’re just ordinary. Such a bore.”
On a regular day, these notes can be even more vicious. My emotional attacker loves to lodge words like insignificant and mundane into my heart.
You’d never guess who said these awful things about me.
I wrote these letters.
To myself.
Doorways
The world loves dropping these deceptive messages for us, too. Successful people who appear happy tell us we either lack drive or ended up stressed out because we have too much of it. If we’re troubled in relationships, we’re either settling for too little or bring too much baggage ourselves. One book promises we’ll achieve balance to life in 10 steps, while another tells us to reach within ourselves to find true peace.
I’m guilty of searching the Scriptures for a turn key solution, too. I’ve memorized verses as if they were vaccinations against human frailty.
I mistake God’s word for a magic eraser for my insecurities and negative emotions. God’s word is more daring. He invites me to come to Him as I am.
We wrestle with God like Jacob did with an angel, clinging to Him until we hear an answer. We can be impulsive and emotional. Even in this, God will bless us.
We can be stressed out like Elijah, caught in the drought of circumstances. God’s sends TLC: bite-sized food, sips of water and rest. We want to use our hands. God wants our hearts.
We can view our doubts and weaknesses as annoying emotions that keep us from God– or we can see them as the doorways to intimacy with God.
Love Letters
Do you remember a first love letter?
I remember mine. My throat gasped in disbelief as my head swam off to sea. My heart was standing in front of cheering thousands, I was so nervously euphoric. I was the victor, having captured someone’s heart.
Were these words written about me?
I’d read and re-read. If the day got tedious, you would’ve never guessed it. I could recall how a sentence wrapped around, where a comma was placed, with photographic memory like never before.
All the Dear Jane letters that littered my past disappeared in that moment.
For each nasty letter I wrote to myself, how many times do I pull out God’s love letters?
Quantity can be advantageous, but not required in the language of love. How many wounded, fighting soldiers guarded their hearts with a well-worn love letter out in the battlefield?
If we really believed God wrote us love letters, maybe we would read them more often. Maybe then, we would dare to be happy, even in the face of imperfection.
One Choice
I decided to call my own bluff and read my nasty letter aloud to the group the next day. Imagine the gasps that went out in the room. Imagine the silence that gripped the air when I told them that I wrote it myself.
Then, imagine the hearts that broke open when I read God’s Love Notes.
If we want to experience true happiness, it can only be found in being loved. Without faith, it is impossible to believe what we’re craving is really what God is offering. Faith is the one choice we have for happiness.
Take out that shoe box and start dusting off those love letters. Read them fresh and keep your eyes open. You’ve got some of God’s love letters coming your way.
God’s Love Notes (GLN)
Here are some of the nasty words I shared and GLN’s sent in response.
1. My Regrets.
I will make up for opportunities you think you’ve lost. You can trust I have something worth the trade of your heart.
“Then I will make up to you for the years that the locust has eaten.” Joel 2:25
2. My best efforts are nothing compared to my failures.
Don’t despise small beginnings. You are big in my eyes. Your heart is more valuable to me than the results of your efforts. Don’t be afraid. I will never give up on you. Don’t give up on me.
“Who despises the day of small things?” Zech 4:10
“My Spirit remains among you; do not fear. I will fill this temple with glory. .. The glory of this latter temple (our imperfect selves) shall be greater than the former (self-made lives).” Haggai 2:4,5, 8,9
3. My Negative Traits/Mistakes prove I’m not fruitful. I’m a failure.
You can’t do this. That’s why I’m here. You are not a failure. Growing takes time. One day, you’ll have no idea how it happened, but you’ll be surprised my words have an effect on you.
“This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself , the soil produces grain.” Mark 1:26-29″
Relax. I am your love, not your critical judge.
“Rely on the love God has for us…
because fear involves punishment and
the one who fears is not perfected in love.”
1 John 4:16-18
Which letters are you spending time reading?
What are God’s Love Notes to you?
* I was inspired to share my letters, as I read Emily Freeman’s beautiful words in These Are The Days of Grace. Visit Chatting at the Sky for more of Emily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*** NOW, IT’S YOUR TURN — FAITH BARISTA JAM! ***
Faith Barista Jam Thursdays — I serve up a topic of faith, you write the post. Keep faith fresh with a faith prompt and add your voice to this community.
Today’s topic: How Does Your Faith Connect To Your Happiness?
Submit your post on today’s topic by clicking on the blue button below “Add Your Link”. If you don’t have a blog, share by posting a comment.
Next week’s 10/28 Topic: How I Am Hearing From God
Approach it any way you feel inspired! Only required ingredient: keep it real. Thanks for serving your personal brews!
Build the Keep Fresh Fresh Community: Link back to Faith Barista or grab the Faith Barista Jam Badge to place in your post. Click here.
It’s a jam session. As time allows, say hi & drop a comment when visiting the community faith blends!
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44 Comments
Bonnie,
I just love, love, love your blog. It always gives me something to think about, and draws me closer to the Lord…..because you are one of my favorite bloggers I am sending you the VERSATILE BLOGGER award. I linked to your blog from my site.
.-= Dawn´s last blog ..Thank you- thank you very much! =-.
I can so relate to the hate letters post. Yesterday, I was in the dumpster not sure why, just down….completely. Hate letters filled my head. So I went with it, filled my house with praise music (favorite cassettes from long ago), cried and prayed through most of the day. By night I was doing much better. Today, I am blessed to read your post and so appreciate knowing someone else goes through this, and am blessed that we are victorious through Him no matter what the day brings. Thanks so much, and God Bless You for the confirmation that our Happiness is in Him.
His Love Letters to us are right in front of us, we just need to read them, remember and listen as He speaks to us.
Blessings to You Bonnie!
Thanks Again,
Cherie
You got me with your hate mail. I write a few of those in my head to me more often than I care to admit. But I need to stop. God has written us a beautiful love letter with all sincerity and power and I need to believe what *He* says about me more than what *I* say about me.
Thanks for provoking thought and faith! I look forward to reading what others are saying, too.
.-= Lisa notes…´s last blog ..7 reasons why I still go to church =-.
[…] friend Bonnie is talking about faith today over at her blog, Faith Barista, and inviting us to write our own thoughts about the subject and link up to her in a Faith […]
Oh Bonnie…God led you to write this morning for a young-ish mom headed off to talk at a MOPS meeting this morning!! I forwarded the link to her via facebook and pray she reads it in time…to catch her breath and KNOW that she’s going to do just fine. 🙂
There’s a great book out there (not religious) called “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life” (Dr. Amen) and I learned in it that our brain “has a mind of it’s own” and can lie to us! It really does take spiritual discernment to weed out the lies of Satan (via our brain or other methods) that we’re not good enough. He loves us, and that’s all that matters.
In the bigger picture, we are able to rest and take faith in the reminders of these love letters; we are all only broken clay pots, and He loves us just as we are – nothing we can do can make Him love us more…or less…and I’m so glad.
Thanks for sharing!!
.-= marina bromley´s last blog ..Faith Barrista JamMore FaithMore Happiness =-.
[…] This post is part of the Thursday Faith Jam at Bonnie Gray’s blog, Faith Barista. For more posts on this topic, visit Faith Barista today. […]
I too loved the ‘letters we write to ourselves.’ Self-imposed hate mail! I do distinguish between joy and happiness. I see too many people pursuing happiness and making themselves absolutely miserable because of it.
I linked to your blog and added my own post. “Happiness is not a right but it is a result of a life well lived.”
http://tinyurl.com/275kqch
There is this letter that has been circulating around the internet for a while and it is called the Father’s Love Letter….it is so beautiful!! It is from the FATHER (GOD) to HIS children (us as HIS sons and daughters). When I have needed a refreshing dose of all that I am in CHRIST I have referred to this letter and each time it has tickled my spirit and lifted me out of where I was at that moment.
CHRIST came to set the captive’s free….and PTL we arr free!!! The devil will not steal my joy and when he is creeping around like a roaring lion I now am ready for battle!!
We will have bad days, its how we handle it that makes us over comer’s!!
Many blessing’s,
Tina
.-= Tina´s last blog ..Dependency =-.
Bonnie,
Your post today does what the truth should do: expose lies for what they are and what they do. Well said.
I admit, it’s a daily struggle to believe in God’s love. You know what, no matter how many times I think of it or believe, I find that I need to accept afresh each day. It’s not the kind of thing you store up in the bank. Like manna picked up every day in the wilderness, God’s love can sustain us if we pick it up and take it with us.
[…] post is part of a jam on faith and happiness. See more posts on this topic by visiting Bonnie at Faith Barista. AKPC_IDS += "4153,";Popularity: 6% […]
Your words were so perfect for me today.
“We can view our doubts and weaknesses as annoying emotions that keep us from God– or we can see them as the doorways to intimacy with God.”
I have had an incredibly busy and physically tiring 6 days. And when this happens my emotions begin to get the best of me. I have felt so withdrawn from God. These thoughts helped me remember what I always eventually remember. That all I have to do is go right back to my heavenly Father.
.-= Amy Nabors´s last blog ..Trusting- Obeying =-.
Just wonderful, Bonnie. Thank you for expressing your gift and relaying eternal truth is such a loving, refreshing way. You are such a blessing!
I truly believe that the more we grow and live in Him, we don’t get stronger and stronger. If we did, then we would need Him less. Instead, we grow more and more dependent because He takes us deeper and deeper. We don’t get stronger in ourselves, we uncover more of His strength. I’ve heard that when Paul made his statement about being the ‘chief of sinners’ he was near the end of his life, after all he had ‘done for God’ and the great adventures of faith and fruit he’d seen. We are never going to be more than we are, but we can trust in all that He is. He loves us so much!
Thanks again.
.-= jasonS´s last blog ..C’mon Jesus- Make Me Happy =-.
One of the most brilliant things I’ve read in a long time is this,
“I will make up for opportunities you think you’ve lost. You can trust I have something worth the trade of your heart.”
Only God knows what’s truly lost or gained – so true – and his timing is the only right timing.
I’ve thought this myself but never crafted the words this well.
Somebody gets a gold star and smiley face on her work today.
Wow, this post and today’s devotionals from Proverbs 31 and Girlfriends in God- all hit on the same note-a chord actually. They talk about words, lies we tell ourselves, others tell us, but lies that God doesn’t believe and spent the life of His Son proving that. Time to burn those “hate letters” and cherish those love letters!
Thanks, Bonnie
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by M Klein, Craig Scognamiglio. Craig Scognamiglio said: I will make up for opportunities you think you’ve lost. You can trust I have something worth the trade of your heart. http://bit.ly/a3b0QL […]
Very powerful post Bonnie!
.-= Kevin Martineau´s last blog ..A remedy that will help turn the world upside down =-.
Those nasty letters go off like bombs in our minds and they crash our hearts to pieces. It’s perplexing to me that our flesh scavenges for all the happiness it can get, but then it is the very one that rips the rug out from under us. It’s no wonder we need God to sort us out to give us the only happiness worth investing in! Loved your post Bonnie!
You stole my letters?
.-= Sandra Heska King´s last blog ..Be a Sticky Star =-.
This is the first time I’ve visited your blog (I found it through {in}courage.) Thank you so much for these encouraging words. I am a junior in college, and sometimes the world just feels so big and I feel so lost and useless in it. I often need a reminder that the future I am staring down is purposeful and replete with God’s love.
Awesome!! I desperately needed to be reminded today that He makes up for “lost” opportunities. So grateful that we worship a God that can restore the years that the locust has eaten and who can take water and turn it into wine. Thanks so much!!
Oh Bonnie. Your words fall on a kindred heart today. This last week I have been beat up, by myself. I can be such a bully sometimes. Blow after blow has kept me down, believing that I’m alone, unseen, unwanted, uncared for and worthless. I love how you not only wrote out the things God would say to you, but that you also articulated what you were saying to yourself. I have found that words will overcrowd my head until I put them down to paper. I never thought about concretely writing out the harsh things I was telling myself. I know that in doing that I will release it and get it out of my head. Then I can see how pointless and untrue those words are and allow God to break through and speak into those areas. Thank you for this! This is truly something I needed.
And just in confirmation, you are gifted and have so much to offer to others. I check back here frequently hoping that you’ve posted something new, wanting to hear your voice more than once a week. You are an encourager of others and a light in the darkness. Your honesty in your regrets, mistakes and failures are so refreshing and help me to see that I’m not alone and that turning to God in each of these areas is what’s most important. Thank you for ministering here to me and to so many others. 🙂
.-= Melissa Brotherton´s last blog ..Happiness =-.
Wow, your blog has been ‘Spot On’ for me this week….It’s like copies of these Hate letters were made and flashed across at one go to a whole lot of us! ..
‘We can view our doubts and weaknesses as annoying emotions that keep us from God– or we can see them as the doorways to intimacy with God.’
‘If we really believed God wrote us love letters, maybe we would read them more often. Maybe then, we would dare to be happy, even in the face of imperfection.’
– I’ve been struggling with getting a grip with understanding God’s love for me….so much changes when we get that!…and BELIEVE it!
Your blogging is truly reaching out to someone like me to help me live everyday life! Thanks once again.
[…] for today’s Faith Barista Jam, responding to the question, “How Does Your Faith Connect to Your […]
Good. I thought for a moment someone else wrote that letter. My first knee-jerk reaction was, “WHAT????”
Whew. Only self-doubt. ONLY.
Self-doubt can become an anchor tied around our feet dragging us down to the bottom of the sea where we drink in sea water instead of air. Very good blog.
.-= Nikole Hahn´s last blog ..Install A Light Bulb In Your Closet =-.
Such good insight Bonnie–we girl-types aren’t always very nice to ourselves. How we do need to soak up our Father’s love letters!!
Shaunie
.-= Shaunie Friday´s last blog ..Brick by Brick =-.
Wow. Good stuff, Bonnie! I’m left speechless at your words.
I finally got mine written and posted. It’s raw emotion – I typed it out and hit publish. I’m freaking out a little right now, but I think the words needed to be said and not tinkered with. Looking forward to reading the others, as always!
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..When Mama ain’t happy… =-.
Oh . . . my eyes are leaking, Bonnie. I needed this today. I’m much too adept at choosing to read the wrong letters. As I started to read I thought, “I wonder if this is hate mail she wrote to herself? It’s what I’d do, but I’d probably be harder on myself.” It’s good to know I’m not the only one, but I’m sorry you live this, too.
“Without faith, it is impossible to believe what we’re craving is really what God is offering.” I need to print this out. I need to print the last half of your blog—God’s love notes. Those words are a balm. Thank you.
.-= Sheryl´s last blog ..Happy Who Me =-.
I did not get to comment earlier, due to heading to work when I posted my link above.
Wow. I have written these type of letters to myself and often I still do. It is something I am learning to fight with truth of the Word of God. But more often than not I still find myself listening to the “bad” instead of the good and keeping it balanced.
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Reasonably Happy =-.
[…] The Terrible Letters We Read by Bonnie Gray (Faith Barista). Bonnie has a great way of writing conversationally and packing in some powerful truth. She does it beautifully in this post. This is a discussion of faith and happiness for her weekly jam (in which I participated) and there are other great posts you can check out there too. […]
Oh, Bonnie, I have written those letters to myself too! I’m so glad the Author of our lives speaks to us in very different ways. Thanks for this timely reminder. I’m so grateful for your friendship and the life-giving shots of faith you serve up to all of us! Love ya, girl!
.-= Holley Gerth´s last blog ..God-sized Dreams- Angie Washington =-.
Wow — I really appreciate what you said here. I have had those same internal dialogues with myself. God is beginning to break through those with his truth, and I’m starting to hear it… yes I am weak and sinful, but he loves me — all of me — and redeems all of that.
I’m hoping to participate in this again next week. This week I approached very differently because it was the 2nd anniversary of our daughter’s death. We’ll see where God leads next week. 🙂
love this Bonnie… I too am guilty of sending those negative letters to myself… thanks for the reminder 🙂
Bonnie:
You captivated me with this post, I have never been to your site before but I was “exploring” and I am so glad I found it. I was getting upset thinking, “now who would be so coldhearted to write such a letter….and from someone at church….you got me! Lori
wow-interesting stuff to ponder…hmm.
Loved your intro, you really drew me it.
I think you are speaking to all of us…imagine how many people
internal dialogue has caused them not to fulfill their destiny in the kingdom.
Wow, that it soooo deep!
.-= Sistergirl´s last blog ..Are You Facing Difficulties =-.
This really has me searching deep. I’m so glad He’ll never give up on me or ever stop working on me. I’ll definitely have to re-read this one.
Bonnie, your words have clarified so much of what God has been working on me over the last few months. So beautiful, so wonderful, so freeing.
I’m excited for this pain in growth.
I am still thinking about this post all weekend long. Just wanted to tell you that.
[…] are trading in the pursuit of our happiness? (part of a jam on faith and happiness via Bonnie at Faith Barista). One Great Comment: Great post. That kind of thinking is actually easy to fall into when you’re […]
Wonderful post! It is so very true and I know this is something I struggle with. God’s love is not like human love — it is not quick to judge or grow cold. Something we all need to remember. 🙂
God bless!
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