Gift giving looks so airbrushed and magical in shopping ads, but what’s the reality? How do you cut out the drama and unwrap Jesus?
One of the mysteries around Christmas time for a blogger is figuring out how businesses have gotten a hold of my email — in order to spam me with their holiday gift guides. Is your mailbox crammed full of holiday catalogs, too?
Gift giving is obviously a source of headache because stores are marketing the promise of eliminating your gift giving woes. I recently came across an article that ranked the top selling holiday gifts ever. As I scanned the list that included Tickle Me Elmo and Beanie Babies, flashbacks to holiday crazed shoppers came flooding back.
Giving the perfect gift drives people to turn a little crazy. Many times, seriously so.
Gift Giving Drama Support Group
We don’t talk about it much, but some of the secret scars we carry from holidays come from gift giving drama.
Maybe gift giving anxieties developed during childhood now play into adulthood. You could’ve been the recipient. You could’ve been the giver.
Rejection, disappointment, and missed expectations. So many reasons why the unwrapping experience can leave you burned.
If there was a Gift Giving Drama Support Group, we’d all circle around and confess our gift giving nightmares.
Can I offer a bit of encouragement and comfort?
I got the idea while reading Jesus Unwrapped posts last week from Faith Barista Jam bloggers.
Glynn Young shared his timeline of Christmas gift wishes, which made me think: How does Jesus feel about my Christmas giving experience over the years?
HisFireFly shared an interesting idea. She’s wrapping a present under the Christmas tree for Jesus.
So I started brainstorming ways to handle the drama of gift giving at Christmas. I drew from a lifetime’s worth of stressful dilemmas.
Here they are.
8 Ways To Handle Gift Giving Drama at Christmas
1. Don’t give a gift out of guilt. Giving a gift because you fear rejection sucks the joy out of Christmas. Consider what motivated God to give that first Christmas, when He gave His greatest gift of His Son.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son. ~ John 3:16
2. Do give the gift your heart wants to give. Stop giving gifts people expect you to give, in order to give what God has placed on your heart. If it meets an unappreciative disapproval, bring those feelings of rejection to the God who gets it. His gift was undervalued too. Yet, He still gave.
“Though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.” 1 John 1:10-11
3. Don’t spend more money to show how much you care. God apparently picked the economy package when He wrapped His Gift in a manger. Yet, God could have rocked Baby Jesus in a Tiffany inspired gold cradle in a diamond encrusted castle. God focused on the value of His Presence, being Immanuel with us.
4. Do give richly from the Five Love Languages. Get creative and give a gift in your family or friend’s love language.
1) Words of affirmation (Write a poem about your friend & frame it)
2) Time (Wrap a fave tea or coffee and include an invitation to your place/cafe in January for coffee.)
3) Acts of service (Babysitting “gift card”. Watch your friend’s kid for one date night or morning off. Priceless!)
4) Touch (Invite an alone friend over or drop by someone in need who would appreciate a visit. Not all presents need to be wrapped and put under a tree. It may not be called a “gift”, but Jesus says, “You did it to the least of these, you did it to me.” Matt. 25:40)
5) Gifts (Any thoughtful token of friendship. Give simply out of your heart.)
7. Don’t give to earn love and approval, but as an expression of your joy.
“Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Cor. 9:7
6. Do appreciate the heavenly treasures you are storing up. A heart that values eternal things like faith, love, and God is storing up treasures in heaven. What will Christmas look like when we sit next to Jesus in eternity, newlywed with our Bridegroom?
“Each man’s work will become evident ; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work.” 1 Cor. 3:13
7. Don’t give apologetically. Maybe you’re hesitant about your hand-made or smaller gifts. Please don’t be apologetic because Jesus sees values the faith behind the giving. Remember the widow who just dropped two small coins into the offering box? Jesus said —
“This poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty” Luke 21:1-4
8. Do focus your energies on giving to Jesus. Think about the three gifts the Magi brought to Jesus —
Gold. Kingly gift symbolizing value and worship.
Frankincense. Perfume symbolizing prayers.
Myrrh. Embalming oil symbolizing death.
Which will you bring to Jesus this Christmas?
Is there —
— something you value
— a prayer (need or desire)
— a figurative death
you can offer to Jesus?
Write it down on a slip of paper.
Wrap it up.
Put it under the tree. For Jesus.
If we prioritize #8, we will find ourselves empowered with greater confidence, freedom and joy to practice the rest.
If you need some tape to wrap your Magi-inspired gift, lemme know. I’d be happy to lend you mine. I’m almost done here…
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I’d love to hear from you.
What are your Do’s and Don’ts on gift giving drama at Christmas?
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*** NOW, IT’S YOUR TURN — FAITH BARISTA JAM! ***
Faith Barista Jam Thursdays — I serve up a topic of faith, you write the post. Keep faith fresh with a faith prompt and add your voice to this community.
Today’s topic: Your Unwrapping Jesus Discoveries
Share your post by clicking on the blue button below “Add Your Link”. You can also share directly by simply commenting below.
Next Thursday 12/16: Share your Unwrapping Jesus Discoveries —
Keep a lookout for:
*1. Ways to celebrate Christmas simply.
*2. Inspiring moments that fill you with God’s love, joy, peace, or hope.
*3. Encouragement to see Christmas in a new way.
*4. A Fresh Take on the Gift of Jesus.
Approach it any way you feel inspired! Only required ingredient: keep it real. Thanks for serving your personal brews!
Build the Keep Fresh Fresh Community: Link back to Faith Barista or grab this month’s special Christmas Faith Barista Jam Badge to place in your post. Click here.
It’s a jam session. As time allows, say hi & drop a comment when visiting the community faith blends!
~~~~~
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39 Comments
This is so amazing! Everything I need to hear to keep me slow flowing our holidays. I get fed every time. Thank You Bonnie.
I love number 8. Jesus will have so many gifts from me under the tree this year ;-D
.-= Jeri @godsdreamsforme´s last blog ..Looking Up – Absorbed by that Awe-some Action =-.
Great to encourage each other!
My wife and I have been simplifying christmas for years — but both of our sons are grown and it’s easier without children in the house. There’s nothing that we really “need,” so our gifts to each other have trended to the fewer, smaller and simpler.
Although this year, we have a grandson, and it’s getting complicated again. But fun complicated. My wife found him some cool toys I can’t wait to play with.
.-= Glynn´s last blog ..Nostalgic for that Aluminum Tree =-.
Play nicely, Glynn. And remember to take turns… 😉
How often gift giving can be done with the wrong motives. I love the idea of using the love languages. I try to do that in the way I interact with people all year round.
Thank you for hosting these jam sessions Bonnie. You are such a blessing to many. It helps me to think through my feelings and motives as I write. This year will be different but I still have a grateful heart. And I will continue to praise the Lord.
Blessings and love,
Debbie
.-= Debbie´s last blog ..Unwrapping Jesus =-.
You are richer, as your treasures are being stored up in heaven… what a heart for Him you have!
Great blog! :o) Do know the giving to gain approval thing! Don’t do it anymore, but used to.
.-= Nikole Hahn´s last blog ..The Clark Griswalds- You Know Them! =-.
Thanks, Nikole!
I love your ideas, Bonnie. I was just saying last night that I love Christmas but I hate the whole gift-giving thing because who needs what we give? I need to rethink what I’m giving…
Thanks, Lisa! Gift giving is one of my love language so I’m happy to share and hope some of it resonates.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Glynn Young, M Klein. M Klein said: http://ow.ly/3mvbS 8 Do’s & Don’ts: Gift Giving Drama At Christmas […]
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“God focused on the value of His Presence, being Immanuel with us.”
And His presence is the greatest presents.
Great post – thanks
Merry Christmas
.-= Doug Spurling´s last blog ..Unwrapped II =-.
Merry Christmas, Doug! You’re right, the Giver does know how to give the Best.
[…] For more stories about ways others are experiencing Jesus this season, check out Bonnie Gray’s Thursday Faith Jam. […]
I love all of your suggestions Bonnie! I always enjoy the Jams but I like this one the best. 🙂
.-= Kristine McGuire´s last blog ..Give Simply-Simply Give =-.
Yay! You’re such an encourager, Kristine!
Love these ideas. We stopped giving all the obligatory presents last year. We still give, but try to really limit it.
Great post!
.-= Melissa @ Breathof Life´s last blog ..The Advent Altar – Part II =-.
Whatever adds more joy to the season, that is what Jesus would want at His bday party!
Great reminders Bonnie! I will definitely be thinking of these throughout the Christmas Season.
.-= Kevin Martineau´s last blog ..Do you play the blame game =-.
Thanks, Kevin!
I loved the idea of the five love languages. For a guy who loves the gift of affirmation, a present that says “you’re the man!” is all I need.
Please, no jewelry!
.-= David @ Red Letter Believers´s last blog ..Redemption isn’t just for souls – Can my vision be born again-” too =-.
I read that one of men’s top need relationally is appreciation. I’m thinking along these lines for my Hubby, too.
Thank you again Bonnie!! Good reminders and practical applications – so good to share with others as I pray God prompts their hearts away from the commercialization of Christmas…
LOVE the Love Languages Gift Giving idea – something done over the ages, but with a new twist! 🙂 Thanks for sharing!!
My Thursday calendar and crackling lungs will prevent me from blogging right now – we’ll see what tomorrow holds.
Until then, I’m grateful that He has moved us into this season of HIS Joy, HIS Light…
.-= marina bromley´s last blog ..Its all about um Jesus!! =-.
I hope you feel better, Marina. In the meantime, I wish you a warm, peppermint tea Christmas where you’re all better!
I’m one of those annoying people who shops for Christmas gifts all year long–please don’t hate me! But, I love keeping my eyes open for gifts that say, “This made me think of you,” or “I thought this would make you smile.” I think when gifts reflect our desires to know and be known by one another, giving them can be a celebration of the presence of others in our lives. Lots of good stuff to chew on in this post–especially the admonition not to give out of guilt, or measure worth by a price tag. Today, I received a gift from my son–watching him play piano at a Christmas luncheon for local seniors. Absolutely priceless, and just what I wanted!
.-= Nancy´s last blog ..Julotta =-.
Not annoying at all, Nancy! You’ve got gift giving as your love language in *spades*. How awesome it must be to receive your thoughtfully planned gift. It’s great to see you embrace your organizational gift for those you love!
Bonnie,
I love your Do’s and Don’ts. My big don’t for the year…don’t buy because you always have. This is a year of change for me!
.-= Amy Sullivan´s last blog ..I Want to be in a Flash Mob =-.
Thank you for sharing that. We’ve whittled down our Christmas list to include only a few through the years. I like it that way. Everyone is less stressed about what to give. Giving from the heart because we want to is such a special gift in itself.
I wrote something this week that might fit this category. I think I’ll share with you this time.
.-= Southern Gal´s last blog ..A Different Perspective =-.
Good post. Inspired me to write “Advent for Aliens”
Thanks for keeping us all thinking!
What a great post — and thank you for the Gift Giving inspiration — the 5 Love Languages is one of my favourite books — and what a brilliant way to frame Christmas giving.
Thank you!
.-= Louiseg´s last blog ..My first video =-.
Great post Bonnie! You always get me wanting to be better. 🙂
This is exactly what I needed to hear, Bonnie! And I love what you said about the wise men’s gifts. I’d never heard that before. I agree, this is my favorite jam yet. 🙂
.-= Melissa Brotherton´s last blog ..Homemade Gift Ideas =-.
I really love this post, Bonnie. I read it yesterday but was too rushed to leave a thoughtful comment, so I am back again today!
I found that each of your 8 points resonated with me — every one! In years past I’ve bought multiple gifts for loved ones, always feeling the need to give more and spend more, to win approval and acceptance perhaps? This year I have vowed to buy just one gift for each person on my list — and not an extravagant item. I have scaled back considerably. Spending less time in the stores has freed up a bit more quiet time at home, which is always needed in this frenetic season. Since I’m personally not shopping for a year, I’ve also asked loved ones not to buy a gift for me. It’s been hard for them, but they are respecting my wishes and either making a gift to a charity in my name, or buying something very small…or nothing at all. It’s been an interesting shift from rampant materialism to a quieter, more Jesus-focused Advent season.
Good post! I didn’t know #8 about what the magi’s gifts symbolized. Thank you for posting. Very good tips! I know I sometimes give out of guilt or wanted to express love through money. Not so Christ-like, that…
.-= StephanieP´s last blog ..First Week of Advent- Hows your Christmas Shopping =-.
Christmas is overwhelming for me this year. We have had so much tragedy and struggles this year. Our Christmas was already very modest.
I haven’t even found my motivation to get out my tree yet. Or any other Christmas decorations. All I want to do this Christmas is hide and cower and cry. Yet I haven’t cried at all, I have gone back to stuffing and stuffing and not sharing with my loved ones. I have shared with my counselor and Celebrate Recovery group.
Tonight I am going to “Blue Christmas.” My church has it every year for those struggling with any kind of loss or hard time.
I love the idea of the five love languages. I think that is what I will try and do with my husband the rest of this month. Thank you for the idea, maybe it will help us and all our fighting, and stress with health and financial issues.
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Reasonably Happy =-.
Bonnie, you accomplished your goal of encouragement! I am pondering #8 – thinking about my gifts for Jesus.
I appreciate the heaping helping you provided in this post.
.-= Donna´s last blog ..Christmas Presence =-.
Bonnie, I know I already shared but I have been pondering and pondering what you wrote, what are you bringing to Jesus.
At Blue Christmas, I brought Jesus my tears.
I let it all out. I cried more than I have cried all year with all the stress. I cried for the loss of my stepgrandpa, the dementia of my stepgrandma getting worse since he died, the stress with my husband in and out of the hospital, my stress of health issues, the fights me and my husband have (which are normal with all the stress we have, but still hard), the financial stress of all of the health issues, the car trouble…. my list could actually go on much much longer.
I brought my heart to Jesus and shared it with him and others around me.
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Reasonably Happy =-.
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