Here in California, there is an early sign of spring’s arrival.
I look out the kitchen window. Where the branches once stood bare, cherry blossoms have bloomed in clusters.
But the rain fell during the night and they swept many of those petals to lie wet on the ground.
I love how they carpet the driveway with pale pink dots.
I’m reminded that God displays beauty through movement. He splurges his creativity on things that are delicate. Even if they last only for a moment.
Soul Baring
I thought I was most vulnerable during times of hurt and loss. But, I’m learning that choosing joy is just as soul baring.
Joy is vulnerable because it is organic, always pointing us to movement, to risk.
Joy moves us out of isolation. It hopes and dares. Joy is willing to take a journey where God is the one steering the who, what, when and how. We may not be sure of ourselves, but that is a beautiful sign we are entering where we are most exposed. “Take me as I am. I’m trusting all of myself to you.”
Happiness, on the other hand, is something we can control. But, we become vulnerable to what others say about us: our past, our critics, and even ourselves.
Are we good enough?
Did we do enough?
Can I continue being and doing enough?
Happiness in this world is earned.
So, I feel awkward, taking joy in as if I earned it, knowing I haven’t. I smile anyways. Because deep inside, I am a little girl adopted by a Father who has waited a lifetime to shower me with grace.
With God, joy is total grace. He says to me —
You are enough.
You don’t need to do or be anything more.
You are loved, just as you are.
I’ll keep whispering this to you over and over again,
Like gentle spring rain on life-giving soil.
Tell Me Again
Sometimes, when I can’t fall asleep, I don’t even know why.
In those moments of feeling anxious about sleep slipping away, I whisper in the dark to Jesus.
Tell me again, Jesus.
Tell me there’s nothing to worry about.
Tell me that you love me.
And everything will be alright.
It’s one of the most beautiful gifts Jesus offers to us: vulnerability.
I’m learning our most vulnerable moments — when we’re holding ourselves back — is soil rich for intimacy with God. It’s where we are raw and our hearts are organic. Soft.
Don’t be afraid. Even if your steps feel uncertain.
It’s really the perfect indicator that joy is right behind that door of vulnerability.
Will I open myself to joy?
Will I choose to say no to somethings and say yes to others?
Will I dare to keep taking in joy, even if you don’t know the way ahead — and savor it like watching the wind cast a shower of blossoms to the ground?
Tell me again that you love me, Jesus.
I’ll dare to dream again.
Even if it’s for a moment.
I know you’ll be with me there. Amen.
“Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.” Isaiah 49:16
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How is God calling you to be more vulnerable with Him?
Pull up a chair. Hearing your voice is faith in real-life poetry. Click to share a comment.
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PSST… You’re Already Amazing
My friend Holly Gerth has an incredible book “You’re Already Amazing: Embracing Who You Are, Becoming All God Created You To Be” that will break open the doors of your heart. I got a chance to read it, and I can’t wait to share it with you. It will be out in March, but Barnes & Nobles has it on pre-sale HALF OFF today on February 16 ONLY $6.99. Just click here!
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*Next Thursday’s 2/9/12 Writing Prompt: * Vulnerable Love?
*This Thursday’s 2/16/12 Topict: * What is one thing that attracts you to Jesus?
Approach it any way you feel inspired! Only required ingredient: keep it real.
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30 Comments
“A little girl adopted by a Father…”~this is beautiful Bonnie & resonates with me.
I’m so glad I read your post on (in)courage not long ago. It is wonderful to find this community, and I’m glad to be a part of it!
This week, in honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m spending the whole week blogging about love and the wonderful examples of love I have been blessed with in my life. I haven’t quite gotten to my love story with God yet (I’ve been focusing on family with the first couple of posts), but that one is coming soon–feel free to drop by and tell me what you think!
Opening ourselves to joy…being vulnerable…such intimate issues today, Bonnie. This is a great topic for our community to share among each other. Thanks for leading the way with your vulnerable spots.
I loved writing on this topic of vulnerability. Thank you for providing this opportunity Bonnie. And I was so happy to link over and buy an advanced copy of Holly’s book. I look forward to reading it.
Blessings and love,
Debbie
Loved this take on being ‘vulnerable’. Mine was rather different…http://wordsfromgodfortoday.blogspot.com/2012/02/vulnerable.html
Don’t be afraid. Even if your steps feel uncertain.
–This is the rub, this fear. I’ve learned to take the uncertain steps and shed the fear as I follow him.
Thank you, bonnie, for this very honest post. Bless you!
Alyssa
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He draws us in so wonderfully and completely. And what an awesome place to live in the vulnerability of joy. You are so right, Bonnie. Thank you for sharing this.
I love this thought – our most vulnerable moments — when we’re holding ourselves back — is soil rich for intimacy with God – I think that is so true. In my post today, I felt vunerable in the conversation I had in the kitchen with my husband. I didn’t use the word, but perhaps it resonates. I am a west coast girl, living in the south. Love hearing about the weather in California! Blessings to you Bonnie.
good stuff bonnie gray!! love how you challenge me to write outside the box.
i love being vulnerable. genuine. authentic.
no pancake make up and fake lashes on my blog… but sometimes a little smeared mascara…
glad to be on this journey with you! keep growing in His grace and knowledge!!
A good choice for this week’s jam. I agree with your thought “joy is willing to take a journey where god is the one steering.” Thank-you for your words and for hosting this community!
I love this post!
You are so right, making ourselves vulnerable takes courage and strength, but if we don’t, we miss out on the joy.
(PS also love being part of this community – thank you for sharing)
Vulnerability is tough for so many of us, Bonnie, especially for those like me who desire control. However, as I purpose to boldly follow Christ’s leading, I am drawn closer to Him in my exposure. Choosing vulnerability before the Lord is perhaps the ultimate form of worship.
“I’m reminded that God displays beauty through movement. He splurges his creativity on things that are delicate. Even if they last only for a moment.”
Sometimes it seems easiest to be open to hurt and loss and sorrow. I want to be open to joy in every moment. Even during those times.
Opeing up my heart to the joy that following God doesn’t always conform to those around me This week I have had some peer pressure as a mom over a decision that I prayed about and knew it was the right thing. Yet most of those around me who were moms were very judgemental about my choice. I finally took a stand and said I only have to justify my decision to God and my family and they are ok with it. I realize your decision woujld be different and that is ok. But why can’t you just accept that I made a choice that was right for me. There was such joy in the freedom to stand up for what I beleive in and knowing God was cheering me on. While their comments have hurt me and wounded me, I am still finding joy in knowing I followed God. Follow is my word and it felt good.
He loves when you ask Him to tell you again, and again and again.. for He revels in sharing His love!
How I needed this today! We have recently been told by others in full-time ministry that what we do, where we live to do it, is invalid, its not enough–not enough money put in, not enough repairs to buildings, not enough time spent on the road, not enough numbers of people reached in an apparent, significant way.
How I cherish that reminder that God looks at me through the covering of Jesus’ blood, and says “beloved daughter, you are enough”.
A lovely Christian lady, who served wherever she went, reminded me years ago that “there is a reason we’re called human beings, and not ‘human doings’. Bless you Melvine, and bless you Miss Bonnie. I CHOOSE to take pleasure in the presence and overpowering Love of my God. WE WILL CONTINUE TO SERVE WHERE GOD HAS BROUGHT AND SUSTAINED US. WE WILL CONTINUE TO TAKE PLEASURE IN HIM. We will move on only when He says ‘its time’. Until then, I will look for His approval, and be free from the criticisms of those who rely upon their own strength, money, and education. I will rely on His Spirit to do what needs to be done, and will serve any way I can–even if it seems insignificant!
“Beloved daughter, you ARE enough!”
My last two posts caused me to feel naked and like I forgot to wash my face and jam was still there on my cheeks. Hurriedly I posted a guest devotional to cover them up and at first I even thought of deleting the two. Then there came comfort from some Blogger friends and I left the posts there.
I love how you help us see joy as a vulnerability. Thank you Bonnie.
I decided 2 days ago I am gonna step out in faith my exact words and trust God that I would be okay no matter what. So I decided to live more. To not be afraid. And to take chances even if in. The process of God molding me it may and I’m sure will be uncomfortable. I was too insecure and fearful that id lose my future husband to another woman. So I kept him and myself sheltered. Now I am slowly letting go and letting God. I cho faith and joy over fear and torment. Baby steps into the woman wife and mother God has created me to be. Thank you for the encouragement.
Being vulnerable takes a bold leap of faith. We have to hold on tight to His hand and trust where He is leading. Usually it means stepping out of our comfort zones and He pushes us to change us. For that I’m thankful!
In Him I am enough!! Thank you for the reminder.
Tell me again that you love me, Jesus.
I’ll dare to dream again.
Even if it’s for a moment.
I know you’ll be with me there. Amen. (your post really touched my heart deeply. To DARE to be JOYFUL again. To move in Joy. Knowing God is there. Wow.
God is asking of me to believe in Him again. To believe for broken dreams to be made whole & new. To believe that with Him ALL things are possible. The baby girl I always wanted. The marriage I threw away but yet knowing God can resurrect anything. To be hopeful and in that, to find JOY in Him and in ALL things even now as I stand in the crumbles of what my life has been, He sets me high & above all that and shows me a different picture, a whole new landscape. One I don’t recognize but I start to feel the joy of the Lord which is my strength to help me walk in it and He is right beside me holding my hand like a Father does to His little girl. Thank u Bonnie. God bless u in your journey and all of us too.
We’re all like little ones, still in our desperate need for the grace of our adopting Father. I like that picture. Warm post… Glad I heeded Jason’s advice today. Thanks.
I hadn’t viewed vulnerability as a gift before reading this. You’ve encouraged me – and obviously many others – to brave those waters and dive deep into Jesus. Thanks!
Hi Bonnie,
This is such a beautiful post–I love your connection between joy and vulnerability! So refreshing and so true! And it’s so true what you say about the difference between happiness–which we can control–and joy, which we can’t control, which involves risk and movement, just like you said–what an important distinction that can be so easy to miss! I love how we need to be vulnerable to Jesus and to His grace to experience joy and also how joy then opens us to being more vulnerable, indeed, knowing that we can’t earn it, as you say, but can only accept it as grace. And thanks so much for including information about Holly Gerth’s new book–looking forward to reading it! Thanks so much! And also, I just wanted to say that I’ve been reading your “Going Off Script” posts here lately and am being so tremendously blessed by them–and they’re such wonderful examples of the blessings which being vulnerable can bring! Thank you so much for those as well! Blessings!
I am so glad I read this post today. Thank you for sharing!!
in these soul-baring moments when we are face-to-face with our vulnerabilities is when His glorious power is made perfect.
and there is no greater thrill, or joy, than to behold the mighty power of our Father.
thank you for this beautiful reminder, bonnie.
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Bonnie,
I love the power of God’s voice through you…sharing this on Facebook.
My brother once pointed out that I just zoomed past joy when I embraced the fruits of the Spirit. I’ve spent recent years surrendering to joy, but sometimes still don’t feel that I get it naturally. Thank you for encouraging me in this quest to more fully submit to my Lord and Savior.