It’s my birthday today.
But, I have mixed feelings about it.
I’ve always loved celebrating my birthday.
It’s a chance to start over. Fresh.
It’s one of the most reflective times I get to enjoy. To look back at the year. I get very sentimental.
I’m the kind of girl, after all, who walks into a card store and feels like she can buy every card on the display racks. I can think of a gazillion ways a card can speak to me. To reflect on the moments. To recall a good memory or sink into the reverie of a dream-that-might-come true.
But, not this year.
I can’t do what I usually love doing. I can’t make any plans.
I can’t look back on this year with much fondness. And I have no idea what’s up ahead.
That’s definitely not the way I want to celebrate my birthday. I like to set goals. See where I’ve been and decide where I want to go.
But, there’s no way around it.
I don’t have the timeline to my healing.
So, where does that leave me?
The answer is: I don’t know.
And that really scares me.
One Birthday Wish
As I look into the unknown, there is one thing that is keeping me anchored.
It is one birthday tradition that I developed throughout my young adult years, that continues today.
I had never grown up with the luxury of wanting something for my birthday. The best thing that could’ve happened to me on my special day during all those years was — nothing.
It was indisputably easier to feel guilty or selfish for wanting attention, rather than acknowledging the desire to be loved and celebrated. This is what happens when the environment surrounding you is emotionally scarce.
You live an internal world, where you absorb any needs before they arise. You tell yourself, you are fine, because people around you are not.
But, with Jesus, I ask Him for one thing. One birthday wish.
Give me one word — to remember this year by.
Let me know you see me. Tell me, you know my desires.
Give me the gift of one word — from you — so I can know you are with me on this journey.
Place it on my heart. Tell me, that you are really here.
Is it a praise or is it a prayer?
By Now
I can’t help it, but my thoughts keep circling to a repeating phrase: by now.
I should be all better — by now.
I should be more encouraged — by now.
You’d think — by now... (fill in the blank).
But, I realize as I stand here at the start of a new year, Jesus is placing a set of different words in my hands.
I keep thinking — By now.
Instead, Jesus whispers — By faith.
No Man’s Land
I thought about this as I closed the bathroom door a few days ago, to turn on the shower and wait for the hot water. I was praying, “Please Jesus, let me fall asleep tonight, without any panic attacks.”
As I did, I felt overwhelmed by the reality:
I don’t know if any flashbacks or memories will pulse through my body, pound my heart, steal my breath and choke me awake this night.
God didn’t take them away by spring or by summer’s end.
It’s already fall. And it’s still not over.
I’m going to have to keep walking through this, in order to get to the other side.
There are no short cuts.
Not even on my birthday.
By Faith
As I stood there with the steam fogging the bathroom mirror, wilting my hair, I began to cry.
By now…
That’s all I could think of. And my heart couldn’t stop wishing things were different.
It was in this place of no man’s land, that I heard God’s voice echo into my heart, gently yet firmly.
By faith… Abraham traveled to a city that couldn’t be built with hands.
By faith… Abraham lived in a tent.
By faith… Abraham walked everyday without any plans, without knowing how long it would take or where he was being led.
By faith…
One Thing
I don’t think Abraham had the vision of celebrating his 99th birthday, living in the land of the unknown, past his prime when he left Ur.
I’m guessing Abraham looked up at the stars many nights, recalling what God once told him and thought, By now…
Abraham wasn’t in control of God’s timing or God’s plan for him or his family.
But, Abraham did choose one thing that God always saw and valued.
He kept walking into no man’s land. He did not turn back.
Abraham kept walking forward — by faith.
~~~~~
“By faith Abraham,
when called to go to a place
he would later receive as his inheritance,
obeyed and went,
even though he did not know where he was going.”
~ Hebrews 11:8
~~~~~
What is one word God is placing on your heart, as we stand at the crest of the holiday season?
Click to share a comment by this Sunday 12/9/12 . You’ll be entered to win Lisa Leonard’s Three Things Necklace. It’s new from Lisa’s Faith Collection (currently on sale at DaySpring until Friday tomorrow).
If you share on Facebook or Twitter, drop me another comment to place an extra entry!.
Something Special
This birthday, I found something special to celebrate the words God’s placed on my heart this year — by faith.
I picked out the silver-chained Three Things Necklace designed my friend, Lisa Leonard. The necklace is part of Lisa’s new Faith Collection, inscribed with the words “faith”, “hope”, and “love”.
It’s reminds me every time I think, by now… Jesus is whispering to me, by faith, giving me hope and love for each step of the journey.
Special thanks to DaySpring, sweet enough to celebrate with me and host today’s giveaway!
One (1) winner will be selected by random to receive the “Three Things” Lisa Leonard Necklace!
Just share a comment by Sunday 12/9/12. You’ll be entered in!
Thank you
This birthday, I’m especially thankful for you. It’s with you, I took my first steps broken, writing afraid, through this journey of healing. It’s with you, I’m learning to walk by faith in the fog, to speak in full voice and break old family codes.
Thank you for the tremendous comfort and encouragement you offer me through your words, prayers and your stories. You give me courage to be vulnerable, by being present with me. You should know that every comment and email you’ve sent my way, arrive as letters to my soul. They are read with deep gratitude, with prayers of thanksgiving and amazement of you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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139 Comments
Dear Bonnie, may the God of Peace cradle you in His everlasting arms on this journey of faith He has called you to- and He is faithful who has called you- so fear not for He is with you! In Jesus name, Amen.
Missing the Thursdays with you here but glad to see you sharing your heart a bit now and again.
God gave me the word “less” last year and has already given me a word for the New Year…it is Release! Obviously He thinks I need more lessons about less, but now He wants me to learn to let go…release things I have been holding onto that are not useful to my life of faith.
Thank you for being brave to share- cheering for you from the Blogosphere, In His Grace, Dawn
Oh and Happy Birthday!!!
I absolutely love that necklace. What a blessing. I hope you have the happiest of birthdays filled with love and laughter!
Dear Bonnie,
I’m on the brink of a new chapter in my life and this is exactly what I needed to hear. Through all my fears, by faith…
Happy birthday! And may he bless you and keep you. May the lord make his face shine upon you and give you peace.
Hang in there, Bonnie! God brought my emotional and spiritual healing in stages – I believe in part because He knew I couldn’t handle the “miracle” healing, but small doses at a time, like peeling back layers of an onion. There were many tears at first – a few still come – but eventually under God’s guidance, what a wonderful aroma comes when He “flavors” that “onion” layer with His truth and hope and grace.
Happy birthday! May you have a God-hugged one!
Beautiful woman of God, Happy Birthday! God is singing over your brokenness today. I can’t help but think of Zephaniah 3:14-20 after reading your post this morning. It is hard to see how all that you are now going through is a process of restoration, but it truly IS! As God was leading Abraham out of the land of comfort and into the land of PROMISE, so is He leading you!
My word for this past year has been “momentary”, because I was determined to live in the “now” and not in either the past or the “what if” of the future. It continues to be a challenge to do that! Both past and future are part of who we are, but today is where we get to choose God, in this very minute of joy, of suffering, even of fog…You have chosen God so faithfully on this journey! He is glorified by that.
Praying a blessed birthday for you, Bonnie!
First, happy birthday! Praying today is full of sweet moments and love.
My “one word” this season? “stop”….as in “stop doing, over-doing, feeling guilty for under-doing….slow down and be present instead of focusing on presents”
What a heartfelt story today Faith. May God grant you the desires of your heart. What came to me this morning from The Lord was “wait upon The Lord”. Sometimes we think its The Lord but its not and you know because things don’t turn out like you wanted. So you go through hard times which wouldn’t have happened if it was from The Lord. We learn, we grow and we carry on. So…God bless and keep on keeping on.
Happy happy birthday, Bonnie.
May God strengthen and keep u safe in him through this journey of faith- the Christian walk.
Deut. 31:8 “The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you.” If He’s ahead of me leading me yet holding my hand, I can go through anything.
oh sweet Bonnie,
how i have stood where you are standing. how my heart aches for you as you go through this trial. but the words He has given you are a testimony to His ability to calm in the midst of the storm.and not only do they bring peace to you, but you are able to share with so many.
now the practical “older woman been through it” says have your dr test you for hashimotos thyroiditis( anti thyroid antibodies is the test). it is a hideous autoimmune disease where your thyroid gland trys to kill itself. it causes seasons of hyperactivity in your system, and i believe has been the culprit in most of my panic and anxiety.( along with the emotional of course) you can have “perfectly normal” thyroid levels and still have the disease.
i am praying for you!!
Because of His Great Love,
barbra
First of all, I want to say “Happy birthday Bonnie”. I know this has been a challenging time for you. But God is at work and in His timing. As I was reading your post, the word that came to me for you was trust. And then you wrote ‘by faith’ which requires trust. When you couldn’t really trust those you should have been able to when growing up, it can be hard to relinquish control. Believe me, I’ve been there too.
But to walk by faith, we need to learn to trust Him. And I can tell you that He is trustworthy.
The one word the Lord is giving me at the end of this year is …LOVE!
I am so thankful for His love. And after going through several years of trials and challenges, I feel His love. My challenges are still far from over but He is carrying me through. And He blessed me with a job where I get to spend all day with twenty 3-4 year old children. After going through many years of infertility and never being able to have children, I thought this was a part of my life that I would just have to get over. But God in His love and knowledge of my heart, gave me this gift. And I’m loving it.
Love,
Debbie
Dear Bonnie,
Thank you for being transparent and sharing your heart with us! As I read Hebrews 11:8 the phrase that really stuck out to me was, “even though he did not know where he was going.” So often in my Christian walk I feel I need to know where the path leads or I am afraid to take even one step forward. I would like to be more like Abraham and take the steps of faith God is asking me to take “even though” I don’t know how to get to the destination! My words would be, “even though…”
Happy Birthday!
As you are on this healing journey, you bless us with these words. These are strong words of faith because sometimes it takes time for healing to be complete. It lets those of us who have suffered know other Christian friends suffer also. The courage to share these words gives us hope and encouragement. Your honesty is so healing! Thank you! Happy Birthday!
Bonnie,
You are so beautiful. The faith in fear speaks to me. I want to live by faith. You’re an example, none of us is perfect, but you show me how to live walking into the unknown. I’ve never asked God for a word on my birthday but I will Saturday. Thank you for this precious gift from you amidst your struggles.
Happy Birthday! You are a blessing to me!
Bonnie, the little child you were, doesn’t know Jesus, she just knows her own reality. Only as she learns to receive Jesus’ love herself – and He is therefore able to divide her (and you) from all the lies she has believed – will her fear and upset gradually stop impacting upon your reality today. He is faithful xxx
Happy birthday, Bonnie! Way to go, girl. You are brave and beautiful. At Allume in October, God placed on my heart a strong message that He wants me to “be free”. I know this means freedom from my childhood wounds. I’m working up the courage to read a specific book as my next healing step…so, I’m with you:) Prayers for your journey!
Happy Birthday, dear Bonnie! Praying this day will be filled with happiness and joy for you. I posted on your FB wall but wanted to write here too since we have this conversation going on in your comment box for every post you write. 🙂 My motto for a while now has been “God’s got it!” I got it from Jennifer Duke Lee and it has been comforting to remind myself of it when I wonder when will things ever get better and if they ever will get better. In the end, no matter what the outcome, God has got it and it will be good.
I’m thanking God for you especially on this special day. You are a very special friend to me.. my only wish is that I could hug you in real life. <3
Happy Birthday to you…may you feel an overwhelming sense of peace this birth year!
I shared on Facebook.
Waiting…………….
I shared on Twitter, too–because you’re awesome!
My birthday has always been the beginning of my new year. My new year begins in two days and I guess my word for the new year is “love”. I have come across so many angry people this past year that I want my lungs to exhale the antidote.
Oh Bonnie, I know this pain so well. I call 2011 my “lost year” because of exactly what you just wrote about. I resisted medication for a while, then when I tried it it took me three different tries to find the right one. A whole year gone, BUT God has been faithful to find just the right thing for me and I am grateful every day for the feeling of “normal” and “functional”. I doubt there are alot of people out there that are thankful for functioning! I am praying that for you for your birthday. Happy Birthday, I pray it brings relief and healing.
i love the one word response. so fitting. praying for you!
Happy Birthday! Thank you for sharing your heart. I’m sorry for the hard hard things you are dealing with. But it helps me to not feel so alone as I go through sadness and loneliness. ‘By now’ are two guilt filled words. ‘By Jesus’ helps me day by day. Have a beautiful birthday and Christmas! 🙂 You are a good person.
I have my own “by now…” and am praying for your, for yours.
Dearest Bonnie,
Today is my birthday also and I wanted to share with you one thing….YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I too have been through similar circumstances and one thing I can assure you of is that our Lord is with you just like He was with me. His promise to us is that He will NEVER leave us or FORSAKE us and this too shall pass. My one wish for today is that God helps speed your recovery from this because this is only another attack from our enemy. God promised us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has GREAT plans for us and those plans do not included anxiety attacks my friend. Be strong, He will give you a new filling everyday, keep up your faith because our God can do anything! He will answer this prayer of mine because I humbly come before Him and ask according to His will…in the name of His Son Jesus Christ…AMEN!
The word I feel God has placed in me is “THANKFUL!” I am or should be THANKFUL for the things He has blessed me with. Yesterday a friend sent me this saying “God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called!” I feel we have to be THANKFUL that God is equipping us each day with the drive to make it through and bless others along the way.
Happy Birthday! Your heart is so courageous and so beautiful! Thank you for sharing your season of pain and healing and waiting. Oh, so much waiting!! Oh, how I know those words all to well. My timing and God’s timing our rarely the same! I remember time in my life where I thought of myself in the fire as the in the story of the blacksmith takes the silver out of the fire, at perfect time when it is beautiful. I remember saying to God, ” I am really ready to come out of this fire now, but I trust you will take me out when it is time.” I surrendered completely to Him at that very moment.
Tak
HOPE — and Happy Birthday!
Bonnie –
Birthday blessings to you my friend!
This may be one of your harder birthdays but down the road a piece, it may be the day that led you towards that corner that needed to be headed around full charge.
Know that you are special and that you can do this…one day at a time. 🙂
Birthday hugs from Jesus and me –
Linda
Shared on Facebook and Twitter…
I know your willingness to share your journey will help others. 🙂
Happy birthday, dear Bonnie. Life isn’t about the plot, but the character. So timelines–as much as we’d like them to be–aren’t the critical element. You keep walking it out, day by day. That takes courage. That takes strength. You’re showing both, in high measure. Much love to you, friend.
My one word: Jesus.
One word: worship. Amid all the stress, chaos, and busyness of the holiday season.
Two words for me. Redemption and Restoration. I don’t know my destination either, but I know the healing process is meant to accomplish wholeness in my life. This is so I can personally testify of God’s faithfulness to redeem and restore. While waiting I cling to Joel 2:25 and Isaiah 61..
Happy Birthday Bonnie! You are such a gift to us:)
Peace Be Still & Know that I am says the Lord.
Blessings & Happy Birthday beautiful spirit. May you continue being you & a blessing to us all.
God Bless You!
Frecia
Bonnie,
Stay faithful….it is so much harder than people imagine…..He is with you….He never leaves….He always LOVES with a love we can even begin to understand….don’t underestimate that….
One word….”trust”….my word this year and going into this coming year is, until God changes it, “trust”. Trust for God’s providence for the challenges at hand and that I know and which cause me anxiousness(and those I don’t know) coming in the futures days and Trust for God’s ability to heal the hurts of the past. See…I look at your word of “faith” and, in my life, I struggle to see it as a stand alone word when I think of God. The “faith” chapter to which you reference when talking about Abraham has been one of my go to chapters when I need to be reminded that faith is never an action God does not honor or take lightly..never an action that God does not take and multiply in our hearts. So when I read that chapter and many others speaking of the faith of those examples God gives us in the bible my eyes read “by faith” but my heart reads “by faith Abraham trusted”….”by faith” (fill in the blank) “trusted.” So my word has been and I think will be until God knows that I can trust Him like I was not able to trust those in my own family…..will be “trust”….by faith…TRUST. Trust the next step, the next moment, the next panic attack, the next challenge and the next moment of peace and joy to the God whom you can put your faith in and not have it broken like human beings can so hurtfully break your faith in them.
God grant you “faith” to keep on “trusting” as you lay the “Isaac” of your heart in God’s hands on a moment by moment basis. God grant you this today on your birthday and every day to come.
Happy Happy Birthday Bonnie!!!
You are so right on in all that you write and we are all on this journey and so thankful for your friend/fellowship!
On Faith Hope and Love…
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13
The Greatest is LOVE!
And the Greatest Love is from God!
Have an exceptionally wonderful and blessed Birthday,
Cherie
Happy Birthday Bonnie!
I started walking with you on your journey awhile ago. You didn’t see me as I peeked in to see how you were doing, I was always wishing you well. I too have walked this path, sometimes it seems like I’ve been on it forever. I’ve learned many lessons on forgiveness, not only for the people who harmed me, but for myself. At times it seems Jesus was not there, little did I know He was always watching over me too, working on the path I needed to take, the one I couldn’t see myself.
Enjoy your birthday, you’re such a sweet person, take that frightened little girl you were by the hand, sit her down next to you and show her how to celebrate the day you came into this world~she need you and you need her. Celebrate, hold her hand and thank her for being so very brave and strong for you. God bless you both.
Happy birthday! Blessings. Praying for you today.
Happy Birthday Bonnie! I have thought of you so much. I pray you know the love that we are all sending. Thank you for being open and transparent. Allowing your words to speak to hearts that are also travelling what feels like a never ending road. You are brave and strong. You bring me hope and help me to be brave and strong as well.
Happy Birthday!! I think the one word for me would be Grace. I one time had a dream that I was kneeling before Jesus but could not look directly at Him because the light was so bright! In the background I could hear angels singing “Amazing Grace.” I began to slowly sing the words myself. That was all I remember of the dream. So yeah, Grace would be the word.
I can understand your frustration, Bonnie, over “why am I still this way and when will it end?” I know that God is not going to have you going through this forever because it would be too debilitating. It’s not like Paul’s thorn in his side that God did not remove. I am pretty sure He is going to heal you, but you will retain a scar from all this. It will be just like a scar on our body that is there but not an obstacle to us anymore.
Whatever God is working out in your life will probably make sense at a later date. Have faith. You will eventually be healed and come into that wide expanse of Grace that I mentioned some time ago. You have to go through this for some reason that is only known to God and to some degree, you. But know that God needs you to go through this now, at this point in time, because you have the endurance to see it through to the end. Whatever it is, God will use this entire experience for His benefit as well as yours. So know that He is preparing you for something great, although it does not seem that way right now. And maybe strengthening you for whatever adversity might come your way in the future. So you will stand firm in your faith and not be moved.
Much love to you, Bonnie, and look for a blessing from our Dad today.
Happy Birthday, Bonnie!
My heart breaks for you and celebrates at the same time because God is pouring into your life and you are holding onto Him so tightly. Praise Him! I, too, have been thinking about one word, and I keep coming back to a phrase: “Celebrating Life Grace{Fully}–one day at a time.” Life can be celebrated through His grace each and every day. Continue to rest in Him.
Happy Birthday Bonnie!
It’s so hard when we are walking through something to figure out why it takes so long. I don’t have the answer as to why God doesn’t just do it in a moment. I guess that’s why life is called a journey. We have to walk “through the valley” in order to get to the other side. The good news is, He always brings us through. Lifting you up in prayer!
My One Word has not yet been revealed to me for the coming year, but in this season of Advent and Christmas, I’ve been focused on the art of surrender.
Blessings!
Well another timely post. It’s wild as I’m journeying this road. There are days I think I’m so glad I’m finally headed in the right direction to healing this wound that I can’t even describe but I recognize by my behaviors and actions and crazy thoughts! I need some healin. So I rejoice, so I should be finished with this when………..?
Obviously it’s not gonna be my time scale, and on my good days I don’t want it to be. But those hard days I say. By now!!!!!?
It’s always a comfort knowing you are not walking this journey alone and we are able to cheer each other on!
Cause By FAITH HE will finish His great works in Us all!
Thanks again for sharing:)
KK
Rejoice!
Happy Birthday! Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. How challenging those words, “By faith” are. To be honest, I don’t want to ponder them as living by faith is so hard in the midst of pain. But I know He wants me to.
I don’t know what words God has for me, but I will pray about it.
Thank you.
wow I cant believe what I just read… It was like reading my journal… You penned my thoughts and struggles… I am not alone… I understand you because I am going through the same thing… With a challenging economy, my health issues, my finances and just not knowing what lies ahead… the uncertainty of the future… but thank you for your post… I know understand… I have to walk by faith… I don’t have to know the details, as long as I know He is with me… I have nothing to fear… Thank you so much for your post…
Happy Birthday, Bonnie! I so much appreciate your transparency as you’ve gone through this time of healing, step by step. I know the road of healing isn’t easy, but it’s done with eyes on the Great Healer who alone can bring healing. He has been asking the same thing of me in this year-long unknown illness I’ve had…to walk with Him by faith. And, I’ve struggled! But, in truth, isn’t that just what we all are to do every day of our lives anyway? Walk moment by moment totally dependent upon our Savior–walk by faith– (and not on ourselves or anyone or anything else)? Isn’t that what it truly means to be a Christ-follower? I think it is. But, we (as a whole) are such independent people and don’t relish being dependent upon others, even when it is the God of the universe who created us for that very dependency! And, so, we walk by faith….not by sight. I must continually remind myself of God’s great goodness towards me (Romans 8:28-39) and that nothing touches me except He has allowed it (see Job). But, lately, Psalm 34:18 has become more and more precious to me: “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Bonnie, as you step out daily by faith, may our Lord slay your dragons for you and give you the strength and stamina you need. And, may He also give you joy in His presence (Psalm 16:11). That is my birthday wish for you.
In His Love and by Faith,
Penny
Happy Birthday Bonnie! Thank you for being so transparent with us. I think at this moment in time the word that God is putting in my heart is obedience. Obedience to him even when it’s not always easy. To let go of any worries and rely on him.
I do the same ‘evaluation’ every year around this time as well — my birthday is Sunday. I resonate with your words because I find myself always thinking that my rubric for life (and my associate timeline) is precisely what keeps me out of sync with the Spirit. I’ll have to ask Him for the word He’d use this year — and will think of you when He gives it. Thanks!
Happy birthday, dear sister. I am believing for the Lord to do wonderful things in you, for you and through you this year. I’ve heard it said (and it seems to be true) that God breaks us so He can remake us according to the original pattern He had for each of us that was twisted during the Fall. May the remaking that is continuing be as far reaching in your life as the breaking, and I pray your influence continues to grow as your healing increases.
The word I’m getting for this season is, “LISTEN.” I am now restored enough to know when I’m hearing His voice, and I know He wants to speak.
After my run-in with a stroke over 4 years ago, it was hard, sometimes nearly impossible to fellowship with my Lord. I was hurt physically (my speech, driving, typing, eating, swallowing, and right side were all affected and are still healing), mentally (my comprehension and retention speed are still being reworked), emotionally (lost my sense of humor, my sense of self and felt totally worthless-getting healed more here too), financially (am still on temporary(?) disability with a very low income) and spiritually (I believe totally in divine healing and divine health–how could this happen? and what am I doing wrong?).
My biggest obstacle with the Lord was feeling betrayed. I also felt I didn’t have faith for healing after the stroke. My blood pressure took a couple years to stabilize, and I would wake up in the middle of the night wondering if I was dying. Fear filled my heart over anything and everything. I didn’t know if I’d ever speak intelligibly again, or be able to write blog articles or work on computer in general. I started with 1 or 2-line sentences, staying at that level for over a year. I had no idea if I’d ever drive again. (I do in a limited fashion now and there continue slowly to be little improvements.)
It has taken all this time for my faith to rise. The good news for me and for all of us who are trying to touch the hem of His garment, is that my God has been working on my behalf even when I felt faithless. If my healing depended on faith actions all along the way, I’d be much less healed now than I am.
Now I’m beginning to rise up, but it truly is God who is at work in me (us) to will and to do of His good pleasure. The healing that’s continuing to come is truly of Him and I could not and can not MAKE it happen. Any healing I (or any of us) receive is for His purposes in the earth. So, as you’ve so well said, it isn’t, “This should have happened by now, but by faith–first by the faith of Father God, and as we get better, by our faith echoing His.
My word is others:
As I grow older and see the emptiness of what I viewed as important in my thirties, I realize the importance of thinking of others, reaching out to people in need and not focusing so much on my wants and needs. Opening my heart to others, helps me find the purpose in life and gratitude to God for the many blessings he has bestowed,
Thank you for sharing your birthday wish. I will ask God for one word for the new year. Happy B-day to you, All God’s children deserve a wish of their choice for their birthdays. I only wish I felt I deserved it.
Thank you for sharing your inner thoughts, and may you have a Spirit-filled birthday, and continue to walk, by faith!
Happy Birthday! This Christmas Season the Lord is impressing on me to give. To go places with our giving we have not been before. And in that, may someone be able to hear about the Love of Christ.
-Colleen G.
happy birthday Faith…I know God is wrapping you in His love on this day. My word of late as been be still ….I am a on the go person who is finding out as I get older I can’t go as fast as I used to or want to and God has used that to show me that there is a place for stillness in my day …every day …I need it…my soul craves it especially now in this time and season of my life. I will be praying for you today.
Your post caught my eye this morning. My Birthday is this month also, and as I read your words, I felt as though I had written them. Your post has been my life also for this last year. Maybe not the same circumstances, but definitely the same thoughts and feelings.
I thought my word this year was hope, but I realize I have not been very hopeful. I will have to spend some more time listening to God for the answer.
I also shared the post on Facebook and Twitter.
DELIGHT!
Delight Yourself in me Adaykis and I will give you the desires of Your heart. Because my girl, when You Delight in me and When Your Delight is in me, I conform Your Heart to Mine. We become One and I align Your Heart with mine until My Desires become the desires of Your Heart! So yes, Psalm 37 comes to mind: Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Like that Song from Hillsong-None But Jesus says: My delight is in You lord. All of my hope. All of my Strength. there is no one else for me, none but Jesus-
That is my Greatest Need and deepest Desire-to delight myself in the Lord so much and for Him to be my portion, my cup, my lover-As I stand here at the end of the year, still separated, waiting and believing God for the redemption of my marriage and my husband’s salvation…By now..wow..I understand your heart..by now..by now we should be together..by now he should be saved..But still, My Delight is IN You Lord, ALL of my heart, no matter how long, no matter the outcome..You are MY One Greatest Heart’s Desire-To Delight in You as You delight in me.
Happy birthday, Bonnie. And thank you for sharing your story. I’ve dealt with postpartum anxiety for months now, and it helps to read your words… By faith. Not by my own strength or power. I’m going to share this with a friend who is struggling in her marriage… I think she will be encouraged too. Blessings.
JOY. Christmas is hard for me, but I always pray for peace and comfort during this time. This year, I feel God calling me to more than that. He has asked me to find the Joy is His birth, His presence. It is a constant tug, a walk I am taking.
Happy birthday! Thank you for sharing your heart with so many women. It truly is an encouragement!
I love this…and I love YOU. Your honesty and openness and vulnerability are so refreshing and so beautiful. Because you are allowing God to use your messy story to make something beautiful and good. And I just love how God is changing you “by now” to “by faith”. It’s a truth we could ALL use a reminder of. I feel like, when I read your posts like this, that I’m speaking face to face with a dear friend who can see my own heart, my own fears, my own struggles. Because I’ve been in that place of panic attacks and I still struggle at times with flashbacks. And at those times I always feel so, so lonely. Please know that YOU are NOT alone. By sharing your story, you are allowing women around the world to cover you in prayer…and to know that they are not alone either. Happy birthday, sweet Bonnie!
Ps 27:13 (NIV)
“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.”
Happy Birthday!
REDEEMED – that is the word I cling to with all of who I am, because it is what God has already done in my life and what He is continuing to do still. I am redeemed in terms of my actual spiritual redemption when I first trusted Him, but He has also redeemed all the abuse, the dysfunction, the pain and all the unhealthy coping that was such a part of my past. His promises are true and He is the great redeemer of ALL. I discovered the song”Redeemed” by Big Daddy Weave yesterday and it speaks volumes to my soul. Hopefully I can post the link here too but if not look it up on youtube because I think it will be good medicine for your soul! Happy Birthday Bonnie! The best is yet to come!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzGAYNKDyIU
Birthday Blessing Bonnie! Your bravery in writing about your struggle is inspiring and encouraging to me. Your childhood resonates with me as I experienced a similar situation. I am trying to cope with panic attacks, and reluctantly take the minimum medication possible because I fear addiction. Night-time, just before or just after drifting off is the time the fear suffocates me. I’m trying a new tact… “By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me – a prayer to the God of my life.” (Psalm 42: 8) My SONG is “As the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs for you…” (Psalm 42:1) I love the Messianic Music version that Joshua James sings for The Jewish Jesus television program. You can listen here: http://youtu.be/P3gYQMrxES0
*trust*
Thanks for your sharing and trusting us to read your posts.
HAPPY Birthday!! I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating that God made you, special, and you are here for a specific purpose. Take JOY in discovering what that might be!!
My “word” for this year has been Purposeful….and I think in this Advent season especially we need to be purposeful about how and where we spend our time!
God gave me 2 words almost 18 months ago when I entered an extended dry season financially and at the same time I was extremely soul-tired. The words were REST and OPPORTUNITY. I would eventually discover what He meant: the rest was for me…to take the time that work was lacking to rest physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, and not be anxious or try to figure how it was ALL going to work out. The opportunity was for Him…to show himself strong to me…once again…in His faithfulness to provide for my every need. And He did. I also learned I could actually experience contentment in all the uncertainty around me simply because of Who I belonged to…the Creator of the universe…a Heavenly Father who adopted me many years ago. I am the stronger for this experience and more certain that I can always rest in God’s character.
Firstly, happy birthday! and thank-you for sharing so honestly how you are feeling. Your ‘by now’ and God’s by faith are so familiar to me. I have suffered panic attacks for the last 5 years following an abusive relationship and have learned that its only ‘by faith’ and trusting in God that I can get through them a day at a time. Some days are fine but recently a lot has been happenning as a follow on from that relationship with the house being reposessed and onlgoing problems from my ex which leave me facing bankruptcy. After 5 years i keep thinking by now it should all be over, but unfortunately I dont know what lies ahead so am walking by faith. Keep truting in Him and things will eventually get better either here or in heaven. Lisa x
“when it rains look for rainbows, when its dark look for stars”
The only thing missing on that necklace is peace and that is the comment I left on your Facebook before I read your post. I hope that is what you experience along with the other gifts!
Your openness has been an encouragement to me over these months as you have shared your struggles. Thank you… I wanted to share a song that has strengthed me as I have walked my own path; and I hope it will be an encouragement to you about our precious Lord.
God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don’t understand,
when you don’t see His plan,
when you can’t trace His hand,
trust His heart.
Eddie Carswell and Babbie Mason, “Trust His Heart”
ONE THING I WANT TO FOCUS ON FOR THIS HOLIDAY SEASON AND THE YEAR TO COME IS “SAY NO TO THINGS THAT DISTRACT ME FROM THE MOST IMPORTANT.”
Dearest Bonnie,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so encouraged by you even in the midst of panic attacks and the struggles you are going through. Thank you for sharing and being real in the midst of it all. I learned to be real and share partly through you and your blog, my recovery groups, and God’s encouragement. Happy Birthday dear friend. I do continue to pray for you. I know about those prayers/praises and wishes. Wishing the fear would go away. The panic attacks would disappear. Keep going Bonnie! You are not alone! God is with you. Many of your in real life friends and your blog friends are with you also.
By the way, I switched blog locations off of xanga. So if you don’t recognize the blog address that is why. I haven’t done much posting over at the new site yet.
Bonnie, when we go through the valley of the shadow of death or sickness or face the unknown, God assures us by his word that he is with us. He tells us to not be afraid and it is a difficult thing but he holds us by his power and will never let us go. We can face anything knowing that he is with us here and in the time to come. He has brought us through abuse and many defeats and that we are here to tell others we still live, is proof of his power. I too face the uncertain and I will go with you also into the unknown. Together we can pray for each other and by doing so, our agreement will bring the strength needed to face whatever comes.
Walking by faith with you …
Rejoicing that out of the darkness , God has shown us once again that He has never left me and my family!! Psalm 91 has been my hearts prayer and what has provided me with such Hope!!
Stillness. I am really drawn to that right now in this Advent season
Redeemed
Happy Birthday Bonnie 🙂
I send you greetings of joy. You were created by our Heavenly Father. He is always with you. Sometimes we forget that. Each day we should practice saying ” Surely the Lord is in this place”. I lift you up in prayer and may you feel His warmth surrounding you. I am so thankful you have your husband and children to share this special day with you.
Submit…to whatever, whenever, and however God wants to move in my life…I’m submitting! I’ve had my own “by now” all year, and just last night God answered my prayers. It wasn’t what I thought it would be, but it was definitely God. I’ve finally learned to be thankful for and rejoice over closed doors!
FINALLY – I think that is God’s word to me. Finally, I have listened to him. Finally, I have accepted my addiction. Finally, I am doing something about it. This Finally just came about last week so I am sure there are more “Finally’s”. Thanks for your post and making me come up with a word – I’m Finally getting it. Happy Birthday Sweet One!
Relationship is my word. It’s what He wants with me; not religious activity. He wants me to talk to Him and listen to Him. He wants me to remember Him through out the day with a simple “Hi, Dad.” The journey continues…
Lord sweetly bless you Bonnie — Happy Birthday!
A very happy birthday, Bonnie. I grew up in an Asian family that did not acknowledge me as a person with worth. I still struggle with who I am. Yet I thank God that He has provided people, groups, Bible studies, and His presence to aid recovery. I keep thinking why is this healing taking so long? It has been years and years to unlearn and relearn healthier patterns. One day at a time is one of the mottoes in recovery. And it is a process that I cannot hurry; I was never in control anyway. I must surrender to God.
Happy Birthday, Bonnie!!! If I had to choose just one word that God has given me it would be “HOPE.” I have been experiencing some difficult times, BUT, I am still hopeful, because I know the God I serve sees me and HE hears my cry. During this Advent season, as we hopefully and expectantly await anew the birth of Jesus in our lives, I know that this is just a season and it will pass. I refuse to allow myself to be overwhelmed and frustrated. God has been to good to me! I just have to keep remembering this……My Hope is built on nothing less that Jesus’ blood and righteousness; I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholely lean on Jesus’ name. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand; all other ground is sinking sand.
Happy Birthday!! Merry Christmas!!! And God Bless You, Bonnie!!
Happy birthday!! You are such an inspiration to me and many others. In fact, I intend to fwd. on today’s message to a friend. THANK YOU for being humble, vulnerable, and honest. It’s a beautiful testimony of God’s grace and faithfulness. It gives me hope!
Happy birthday, Bonnie, whom Jesus–and the Father–loves! I am with you in this journey of faith–looking, always looking for our Promised Land–and thinking, always thinking, surely “by now.” But our Promised Land, He is here with us, bringing us through, lifting our and crowning our heads, calling us Overcomers.
The word I have been given for the coming year is RELEASE! It’s time.
I recently discovered the music of Jonathan David and Melissa Helser. They are kindred spirits who have caught the love of the Father. If you can listen to some of their songs–get the CDS (On the Shores, Long Story Short)–you will find you are not alone. They have so encouraged me. If we lived closer, I would let you borrow them. One of my favorites is Explode my soul by Melissa. The Cd version is much better, but in any case, Happy Birthday!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1q-cUQ9i5E
You are loved, and you are a blessing, just the way you are! Thank you for sharing your journey.
Bonnie, my response got longer and longer … so I posted it on my blog. If you stop by to read it, I hope it will encourage you. {{{hug}}} I don’t know exactly what you’re going through … but perhaps have experienced something similar. I’m learning from your story. Thank you. http://www.kareneeart.com/2012/12/wasteland.html
Home
Love this article….yes have thought that same thought many times, “by now”…but “by faith” is where the Lord wants us…thank you for sharing and have a very Happy Birthday–you so deserve a great day!
Sunday
You have no idea how much your blog has touched me. It’s the words of my heart. Thank you, Bonnie. I will be praying the same prayer….one word.
Happy birthday!
Two things come to mind for me at this time of year. HOPE and God is always with us. God came to earth over 2000 years ago. But his spirit is always there for us when we
are going through that dark valley. I pray that you remember that even in dark times God is always there to guide, love and comfort!! Merry Christmas to you!!
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Great post…. And *bonus* I love Lisa 🙂
Happy Birthday Bonnie!
My birthday is on Saturday, funny, huh! I’m not big on lots of drama, but I usually like doing something with my few close friends. This is the first year I put it to the side and thought I’d just let it pass by, almost even forgetting it in the busyness of the season, but my close friends rang and said they wanted to spend it with me anyway. Which is really nice. Because what I value above any gift on a wish list is just restful time with my friends. And for you, that is my birthday AND Christmas prayer for you — rest.
“I keep thinking – By now. Instead, Jesus whispers — By faith.”
Your words speak directly to the heart of why I probably didn’t want to celebrate this year, actually cutting – calling me out righteously, and yet with care… and hope – because where I myself was stuck on “by now”, “by faith” reminds us of the God in whom we believe. An almighty God. A loving God. A God who walks with us at our pace for our good. How amazing is that!
It stirs me up and makes me want to share His greatness! Which brings me to my word for this time as the season ends. BOLD: I have it on my heart to press on with even more boldness, as I talk with people, pray for them, and live alongside them – to get to a place where it could NEVER be said fear stopped me from connecting someone with His love. Even as this year has been one of healing for myself, I look forward to next year… not in the hopes that it will be my “when”, but rather because I know He wants to continue His work! Philippians 1:6
God bless you Bonnie. <3
Hi Bonnie,
Thank you for sharing. This day we can celebrate that the Lord is with you on the foggy path. And that you are walking by faith, not by sight.
Below is something that the Lord gave to me some years ago, in a very foggy situation. I pray that it may be an encouragement to you today. I am praying for you. My one word would be “depend.”
*
Sight depends only on what is seen.
Faith depends on the Invisible God.
*
Sight depends only on the natural.
Faith depends on the supernatural.
*
Sight depends on its own strength.
Faith depends on God’s strength.
*
Sight can’t see in the dark.
Faith focuses on God who can see in the dark.
*
Sight sees only the present moment.
Faith depends on God who sees the big picture.
*
Sight fails when circumstances fail.
Faith depends on the God who never fails.
*
Sight is blind to God.
Faith fixes its eyes on Jesus.
*
Sight is of the flesh.
Faith is of the Spirit.
*
Sight can only see the wind and the waves.
Faith sees Jesus.
*
In Him, Ann
I have always wanted one Lisa Leonard’s pieces. To have my faith stated on it as well, is even better.
I will never again use a cell phone while I’m driving! I had a terrible accident as a result of looking at my cell phone just long enough to press send. This happened a little over a week ago and my car was totaled. The air bags deployed and I am still hurting because they did, but I’m alive!! I’m alive!!!
I have an idea! No matter how we feel, let’s dream anyway!!!
I forgot to mention, today is my birthday too!! I was born on December 6th, 1937!!
Yep, 3/4’s of a century!!!
Happy Birthday Bonnie!! I am right there too walking in something that I say again “by now…” every time a panic attack comes or a strong emotion from a memory. Continuing to pray for you and thankful that God is giving you words of hope and walking with you and showing you His love. Thanks again for being brave and sharing here.
I shared on Twitter.
Peace!
My birthday wish for you, sweet Bonnie, as you cling to our Lord by faith is the knowledge you are loved.
I shared today’s blog on facebook.
Happy Birthday, sweet Bonnie! You inspire me. Your spirit to keep going in seasons that are far from easy is so encouraging. “By faith”! I like it. 🙂
Bonnie, Happy Birthday! Thank you for opening yourself up and being real on your blog. I pray that you find the peace and new direction you are seeking. I know that God has His loving arms around you and will light the way for you as you travel this road. Keep your eyes and heart focused on Him.
My one word for this season is “masterpiece.” It came to me from reading The One Year Chronological Bible this morning (December 6). Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Imagine! We are His masterpiece! I have been carrying that truth with me throughout my day.
Happy Birthday Bonnie, from one masterpiece to another. Blessings!
I wrote something like this this week…I needed this reminder because I thought BY NOW I would be a mom! But BY FAITH, I continue to count on the favor of the Lord, the grace of my Father to walk me through His purpose.
P.S. Happy Birthday, friend!
By now …. by now….. by now….
That phrase has haunted me for months, ringing in my mind. It has been over a year since my son passed, surely by now . . . . . .
I have finally given my self permission to feel what I feel, when I feel it and have banned the phrase (or at least I am trying) by now . . .
There is no by now, all of us grieve loss, what ever type of loss, in God’s time. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other, standing, by faith.
Prayers –
Bev
Happy Birthday! Thanks so much for your posts!!
Hi,
I’m praying for you.
This has been my favorite word God has given to me for almost 3 years now, and I want to share it with you…not just tell you, but give this word to you, to share it with you, so we both will now have this beautiful word… BELIEVE.
Now it’s my word, AND your word. Look for it whereever you go and God will show it to you over and over…BELIEVE.
Love you,
Susan G.
HOPE is my word for this coming year. As long as we’re still alive, there is always hope! 🙂
God bless,
Rachel
Shared on facebook. 🙂
Blessings to a one of a kind woman on her birth-day!
My one word is [i]encourage[/i], which requires faith, hope and love.
My mission statement* is:
To encourage spiritually oppressed women through words-spoken and written.
* I recommend everyone to write their mission statement in 10-12 words or less.
.
Bonnie,
Thank you so much for your vulnerability and your willingness to share this journey with us. I had similar struggles and also have struggled with my “By nows”. The truth is even when i think I know what is happening tomorrow — it is only an illusion anyway. When we trust in the illusion we are sure to be disappointed. Even on those days we still are called by God to walk by faith. 9/11 was a perfect example of that. No one when they got up that beautiful sunny day the tragedy that would change us forever. Yet God uses all things for His Glory for those who trust him and are called according to His purposes. I believe he will use you and me to help the church to grow in “Living loved” and set them free from the bondage and idols with which they struggle. Thank you Jesus that you never give up on us and that you will use Bonnie and I to bring you glory as we walk through our trials and the unknown ahead.
Hi Bonnie,
I hope is not to late to wish you a Happy Birthday 🙂 !
You know I had quite a year too, with a lot of unexpected changes and some of them came in the blink of an eye, some of them shocked me and in the beginning brought heartbreak, pain and sadness. As days go by even-though I tried to escape from the reality of some of those changes, I’m finding God in His great love and mercy bringing me back to that place, the place of Faith and Trust in Him. I do not know what comes ahead, but it’s ok because I know that it doesn’t matter what comes ahead, God is already there. He’s our God who heals and restores.
Keep on going Bonnie, you are not alone in this journey 🙂 , and I know that the process of healing is not easy but it’ll be worth it and God will use your story to bring healing to many.
God bless you!
Bonnie: Know that God loves you, he gave you the gift of beautiful writing.
Happy Birthday.
This post is beautifully written, heartfelt, and honest. I LOVE this about your writing, and hope that, by sharing with others, God restores, blesses and grants you His peace!
P E A C E S H A L O M S A L A M
It’s all one word,
It’s what I’m praying for,
It’s what I’m dreaming of,
For my corner of the world…..
Happy Birthday Bonnie! My word is Faith.
Frist off – Happy belated birthday, Bonnie. I have thought a few days about my word(s) – the first ones that came to me were ‘less than’ and / or ‘not enough’. After giving it some thought, the word ‘trust’ keeps running though my head and heart. Trust that He can take the less than and not enough thoughts and feelings that I have about myself and replace them with something good and positive.
~ Dorothy
Happiest of birthdays to you! This post really touched my heart … thank you!
Thank you so much for your open honesty. You have touched my most vulnerable spot, the crux of my walk. Happy Belated Birthday! May God continue to bless and keep you in His perfect timing.
Follow —
I spent so much time expecting God to follow behind me and fix my messes. I am now going to move back and follow my loving Father. I so want to see and do his will. Hugs and Blessings.
Happy Birthday. I shared on Facebook. 🙂
The word, or phrase, which came to mind when I read this is “with love”. This phrase sounds like a cliche’ until you turn it around and think about what life would be like ‘without love’. To give you some background about my choice of phrase, I am part of the worship team at my beloved church in Asheville, NC. Often our main focus in worship is praise. We praise with testimony and music. I do most of the visual arts for the praise songs and other aspects of the service. Before each service– to set the mood and give a preview of the message of the service– I project a short mini-movie. This past year, in February, being Valentine’s month, the subject for today was love. To create the mood I played a movie called “Without Love”. I realized to know what love IS, you should consider what love is NOT. The following words made a great impact on all of us in the congregation:
“Without love–every word is wasted; without–love the future doesn’t matter; without love–faith is academic; without love–feeding the poor doesn’t pay; without love–great sacrifice is foolish; without love–marriage is just a negotiation; without love–parenting is just child care; without love–work is merely work; without love–time is only money; without love–fear returns; without love–we serve only ourselves; without love–God is not.”
God IS love. If we live by God’s greatest and most important commandments, “love God with all your heart, mind, body, soul, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself”, your words will not be empty and wasted, but filled with encouragement and compassion. With love, your future is secure in God; with love, you live your faith; with love, feeding the poor brings great comfort to those who feed and those who are fed; with love, marriage is patience, understanding, and a lifelong commitment to loving and cherishing one another; with love, parenting is the joy of watching and helping your children grow; with love, work becomes an opportunity to serve and bless others; with love, time is not all about money, but making opportunities to spend quality time with God, family,and friends; with love, fear becomes a thing of the past as you put your complete trust in God; with love, we think not of ourselves, but of service to those around us. With love, God is ever-present in our lives.
Bonnie, I wanted to wish you a happy (if not belated) birthday in a separate comment. If I had one phrase to describe you, it would be “a blessing”. I started reading your blogs a few months ago, and they have always been a blessing to me. You are a beautiful person with a beautiful mind. You don’t have to, but you spill your soul to us. It is a huge blessing to know that we’re not alone. We all have our separate shadows, but we all have one thing in common, we have the love of God to sustain us, to bring us comfort and strength, to help us make it through. I have had many shadows in my lifetime, but through each and every one of them, even when I forgot about God, He stayed with me; showed me the way to go. In my earlier years, I didn’t know how to listen to God; consequently, I often took the wrong path. But God, faithfully, and with great Love and Compassion, always nudged me in the right direction.
Eventually, with God’s help, I emerged from that life a changed person. Slowly, very slowly, my cocoon opened and turned into a butterfly. From your photo you are a bit younger than me, yet you seem to have been through so much. I am so happy that, unlike me, you have learned to let God be your comfort and strength. So let those beautiful butterfly wings of yours unfurl and fly free in God’s precious Love.
You blogs have inspired me to start my own personal blog. I thank you for that. Sometimes I use my blogs to bring comfort to others , as you have. Not often, but when the thought strikes me that maybe, just maybe, this might bring comfort or encouragement to someone, I will post it and share it to Facebook.
Keep up the beautiful work, and may God bless you a wonderful Christmas 🙂
Discipline
Happy belated birthday! (better late than never–right?) I hope it was wonder-filled and you were surrounded by love
Thanks, Margaret! 🙂 Guess what, friend — one reader commented on my latest post on (in)courage: “Read “WONDERSTRUCK”!! Author is Margaret Feinberg. It’s what you need right now.” (giggle) Isn’t God great? Keep writing and know your words are reaching souls far, deep and wide for Jesus into the hearts of women. http://www.incourage.me/2012/12/our-hearts-homecoming-taking-a-different-route.html
The word God whispers over and over to me : Trust.
Not easy …. especially when I have never had any earthly person who could be trusted in my lufe. But God IS trustworthy and He is giving my heart the assuance that He has been, He is … and always will be. Step by step, my heart is healing and growing able to trust Him.
Happy birthday! God’s richest blessings to you.
Thank you for the opportunity to perhaps win the beautiful necklace!
thank you for your beautiful words. They have encouraged me to go further in faith. I too have had some “by now” times. But isn’t it an awesome thought to know that Jesus is walking out our path with us,giving us his strength,courage! wow.
I know that your give away has ended but I just came across your story and wanted to let you know how encouraging it is.
keep walking with Jesus
I am sorry,I had intended to say a belated Happy Birthday to you. mine is new years day,so we can celebrate together in Jesus
Reading this belatedly, my heart aches again for the losses of your childhood that still repercuss today. A belated happy birthday, too. Whether you slept peacefully that night or not, I ask God now to give you peaceful sleep and blessed dreams filled with His presence tonight. He is awake and with you in the dark.
Much grace, mercy, and deep peace to you in Jesus, dear Bonnie.
The path of brokenness of which you speak is one I know; I’m on it. What I’ve come to understand is that breaking was only the first part. I have to live in the crucible for a little bit. It is probably the most frightening walk I have ever been on, but I know that by God’s Grace, all shall be well.
Thank you, and belated birthday blessings. I’d love to win the necklace.
Peace and good to you Bonnie.