She looked so cute. As a button.
She sparkled dancing brown eyes that smiled, a dimple on her left cheek, as wispy strands of soft chestnut hair pulled up in ponytail fringed her sweet face.
“She’s five,” my friend Amy* whispered back when I asked her silently with my mouth how old this little girl was.
“You’re soooo cute! ‘You know that?” I turned back to say to the little girl playfully, stooping down to crinkle my nose and let out a giggle to match hers.
She’s bashful, but not shy.
I knew that behind her sunshine smile, laid a story I did not need to hear, in order to know it would be hard.
Special
My friend Amy is a foster parent. And this little girl with slender wrists and pint-sized legs was a new house guest I hadn’t met before.
“What your name?” I asked.
She twisted and turned and told me quietly.
“Oh… what a beautiful name…” I cooed.
“I love your cardigan. Pink looks pretty on you… and look at your shoes. Mary Jane’s in pink glitter!” I ask her if pink’s her favorite color. She nods. Pink and turquoise are tied as my two favorites, I tell her in return.
“We went shopping yesterday… And she picked out her own clothes… ” Amy chimes in, standing nearby.
“Well, you did a great job! You look beautiful.” And as she beamed with pride, I asked her if I could give her a hug.
As I wrapped my arms around her, I didn’t know if I’d get to see her next time. Because you never know how long a child stays or passes through. So, I looked deep into her eyes until I felt her soul look into mine.
And then, I told her as tenderly as I could.
Jesus loves you very much, sweetheart.
You are a very special little girl.
Don’t you ever forget that.
You are special.
And she smiled.
Maybe
I couldn’t stop thinking of Special Little Girl when I went home.
I cried because she was so young.
I cried because it broke my heart imagining her all by herself in this big wide world. Without a home. Without someone to turn to. Who would call her their very cherished own.
I cried because there is a part of me who is learning to come home too.
I cried because in the same breath, I know there will always be a piece of me that will never quite be home.
Because we’re all just passing through.
Maybe that is why Jesus had to share one last meal with his friends before he had to die.
Maybe when Jesus looked into the eyes of everyone he had been living, traveling, sleeping and eating with — and celebrating three birthdays alongside — he saw the little boys and girls hidden within each of them.
He knew they would feel scared, lonely and abandoned — when they would wake up one morning and find Him gone.
When they would walk into the bedroom where Jesus usually slept and see the bed lay bare, too neatly folded and empty.
Remember
Jesus probably felt so troubled and yet, the best way He could think of to spend the last night together was to —
— wash their feet,
— break some bread,
— and lift up a cup.
To put their sandals back on for them and then rest at a table together — to share a meal. And make an oath.
He made a new promise they had never, ever heard anyone make to them.
They would be reunited one day.
It was a blood promise. And He would give up his own body to be battered and bruised — to be thrown to the side and lashed open — in order to keep his promise.
Remember me.
Jesus whispered.
Whenever you eat this bread… of brokenness…
Whenever you drink from this cup… of life pouring out…
Remember me.
A Thousand Pieces
Next time I saw Amy, I asked her. “How is Special Little Girl?”
“Oh, Bonnie…” my friend sadly confided. “Her mother came for her visit… and it was just awful.”
“What happened?” I was afraid to ask.
“You know what she did?” Amy asked, anger tinging her words.
“What?” I couldn’t imagine.
“She took one look at Special Little Girl… looked her up and down… and the first things she said to her was — ‘You look stupid.'”
And my heart broke into a thousand pieces right then in there for Special Little Girl.
I find out that Special Little Girl will soon have no family to belong to. She is going to be “terminated” from her family.
The courts had taken her away from her mother, only to have her father beat her.
Then she was passed to her aunt and uncles — and then to her grandparents. They all beat her.
When she arrived at my friend Amy’s house, her legs held shadows of lashes across them.
Where are you, God?
How can you let this happen?
It’s too evil and too wrong for you to allow this to happen.
How can you stand it?!
When I told my husband Eric, his heart broke into a thousand pieces too.
And together we prayed for Special Little Girl.
Please Lord Jesus, take care of her. Find her a new home.
Send loving people to adopt her. Protect her in the secret place inside until that day.
I Promise
As I wrestled with feelings of anger and sadness, my heart kept returning to a room lit by the quiet flames one dark night.
Where Jesus was hiding secretly away with the disciples, as He said his last words —
Remember me.
I promise.
I am coming back for you.
I’m not going to leave you orphans.
You belong to me.
I promise.
And I see the lashings on his back, his legs, and even his face.
How people who should have loved him put a robe on his back and spit on him and said he looked stupid.
How His heart broke in a thousand pieces.
And I try very hard to remember.
The truth.
Jesus remembers.
You. And Me.
Jesus remembers Special Little Girl.
Sooner than later, I pray.
Help Special Little Girl find a home.
Sooner than later, Jesus.
The Next Time
The next time I take the cup and swallow the wine.
The next time I place the bread on my tongue, I am going to remember Jesus.
And Special Little Girl.
And long for His promise to come true.
Sooner than later.
For all of us.
For in the heart of every woman lies the quiet bloom of a little girl.
We are all on the journey — in different ways — to find our hearts’ true homes.
Loved and cherished in the heart of Jesus.
Special little girls.
I sought the Lord, and He answered me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces will never be ashamed.This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him
And saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him,
And rescues them.The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
~ Psalm 34:4-7, 18He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds…
He sustains the humble
but casts the wicked to the ground.
~ Psalm 147
~~~~~
Is there a promise you’re holding onto… to come true for you?
Pull up a chair. Click to comment. This is a quiet place for you and me.
~~~~~
{If you know a friend who is doing the hard soul work of foster parenting} Send them an email, give them a hug, or gift them with a Starbuck’s card to bring them a smile. Let them know the heart and homes they’re opening up to the little boys and girls makes a real difference.
Having processed memories from my past, I know the power of even a stranger’s beautiful words spoken to me. Random gestures from others are remembered — forging beautiful, deep and lasting signatures of Jesus’ voice, hands and heart into my memories. Those memories can even be unspoken, but they were all felt. They have made my story beautiful and loved, standing out more powerfully among the broken pieces.
{So, the next time you see a child} smile, say hello, and let the love in your heart touch them through that simple gesture.
{And for all of you who parent little ones and work with children} be encouraged to know how very significant you are. You hold a very special place in a child’s heart. Jesus is touching that child through you.
~~~~~
Our 6-Week Faith Jam Series: {The Journey}
For the six Faith Jam Thursdays leading up to Easter, I am selecting writing prompts to reflect movements in Lent. Lent means “The Way of the Cross”. In other words, Lent is “The Journey”.
You have been my safety to find my voice here on the blog and I hope this space here on Faith Barista can be that for you — as we explore these Journey-Inspired prompts together.
Let’s do this. You and me. Us and together. Let’s swap some stories.
This is a soulful, creative 6 week journey to open our hearts and journey together. You can write in the comments or link up with your blog posts.
~~~~~~
**NOW, IT’S YOUR TURN — LINK UP IN THE FAITH JAM **
HTML Code For the Faith Jam Faith Fresh Badge
Faith Barista Jam Thursdays
1) I serve up a writing prompt. Let the topic soak in your heart, then publish your post the following Thursday and link up to share it with us. If you don’t have a blog, just write directly in the comments.
TO LINK UP: Click the blue button below: “Add Your Link” and type in the *specific* URL to your blog post (not just the name of your blog). (Subscribers: click here to get there directly).
2) Place the Faith Jam Badge in your post. It’s a welcome sign for our community, inviting others. Grab the HTML Code above. Thank you.
3) Then, pull up a chair. Visit the post before yours and say hi with a comment. Make a faith friend.
*Next Thursday 3/13/14 Writing prompt:
Remember
This prompt is inspired by themes of Lent. Week #2 of {The Journey Series}, the journey to Easter.*Today’s Thursday’s 3/20/14 Writing prompt :
Stay
This prompt is inspired by themes of Lent. Week #3 of {The Journey Series}, the journey to Easter.May the writing prompt bring you to a quiet place inside your soul and spark a soul conversation to share with us in community.
Approach it any way you feel inspired! Only required ingredient: keep it real. Click here to learn more.
** Don’t miss! ** If you are new to Faith Barista, I’d like welcome you here.Click to subscribe by email and get each post in this series served up hot and fresh directly in your mailbox.
(*) Amy is not her real name. Amy is the name I gave my friend in today’s blog post to protect her privacy and the Special Little Girl.
69 Comments
Thank you, Bonnie. It was good praying with you on this subject, for Special Little Girls everywhere the LORD has laid them on our hearts. I thank God HE hears our prayers and responds. Praise the LORD and Savior in the Mighty and Merciful, Kind and Sweet Name of Jesus in Whom all Special Little Girls (and boys) have a Tree of Life.
Totally yes — for every little special little *boy* and girl. Thanks, Lisa.
I have a special step granddaughter who, along with her husband, took in three special babies to foster and eventually adopt. She is not a Christian or follower of any religion as far as I know but in my mind she is doing what Jesus taught. She is caring for these now fortunate little children. They are much loved and wanted and are exposed to the teachings of Jesus when their Grandma, my stepdaughter, is in their presence. My heart bleeds for all the throw-away babies in this world. I thank God that Jesus knows and sees.
What a beautiful granddaughter you have — a beautiful heart who sees the children as God sees them — born to be loved and seen. Clothed with care. Your presence is a gift they will always carry in them, Flora. You two are shining lights are making the world more beautifully lit.
This especially touched my heart. A very special girl in my life is going through some awful pain and heartache (from her parents divorce). She has turned to hurting herself to numb the pain.
My heart breaks for her as she is at such a tender and impressionable age.
Thank you for sharing this today. ♡
You being present is faith personified for her, Krista. Picturing you with her and saying a prayer with you for your special girl.
Hi Bonnie,
How I wept when I read your post. I will pray for Special little Girl that she finds a family who will cherish her as God loves and cherishes her. We don’t get to choose our families and my heart breaks for kids that are not nurtured and adored by their parents. I worked with HeadStart and many of the children came from abused backgrounds. God planted you exactly where He knew your gift of kindness would be needed. How wonderful that Special Little Girl received those words from you. Every person needs that kind of encouragement and love, especially children. When you said that we are all Special Little Girls, it got me thinking how un often I view myself that way. As a grown woman, I forget that a little girl still resides within me. And yes, she is special.
Thanks for the reminder. 🙂
Veronica, you are very special. If I could buy you a cup of coffee, we’d sip and I’d listen.
Bonnie, how funny. I told my hubby all about your blog last week and I said “if I lived nearby, I would so want to grab a cup of coffee with her.” Right back at you.
My heart breaks for Special Little Girl. And all the little ones who suffer as she does. Why, God? Thank you, Bonnie, for sharing this and for telling her how special she is to Jesus. I am awed by how God works. Our hurts serve a purpose. Because of them, we can empathize more deeply with others who need those “forging beautiful, deep and lasting signatures of Jesus’ voice.” Praying that Jesus will tenderly hold Special Little Girl to His heart and never let her go. That He will find her a place where she will be loved and nurtured as she deserves.
Hear our prayers, Jesus… And make us part of your answer Jesus, in someway. Thanks, Trudy.
Bonnie, Did you know Amy means “Beloved” I have a beautiful daughter named Amy.
Thank You for cont. to share. As you described communion The bread …brokenness. Wine…. the pouring out.
It made me think some days are we being communion? When we let our heart break for someone, when we pour in/out love to one in need. When we do those things, we are being Jesus.
Just a thought I will be thinking on doing this season.
I will be praying for Amy and her family, and all the beautiful children she touches.
Danyalle- what you said is so beautiful. I love the imagery of that. Thank you for adding this. Because it’s so true…
Yes there is a promise I am holding onto. We have 3 of our 5 children told me to stay out of their life. Not because I am a bad Mom, but because I told them they cannot abuse me. they didn’t like it so they said, 1) if this is what Christians are like, I want nothing to do with them, 2) stay the Eff out of my life, and 3) eff off. I am waiting, but quit hoping. Its so sad! My heart is broken. many people tell me I HAVE to apologize, and I do not feel I have anything to apologize for. I set limits, and was a GOOD mom! I am waiting until they retract those statements. Because I also Like my words and feelings to be respected. I LOVE and MISS them horribly. So much has been missed. the first one said those things when she was 17. she is now 25. the last two were within the last 2 years. They have all banded together to alienate the entire family against me with lies. SO Sad. again I am heartbroken. to see GODLY Children run so far away from GOD, and a loving family.
Joeann, I’m so sorry the journey is so painful right now. Boundaries are important. They’re needed.
I SO agree. I have prayed and prayed and prayed, and asked the LORD honestly and earnestly if I had anything TO apologize for. and have never received a answer to do so. Our children were wrong in their treatment of me and I have forgiven them, for my peace, but am awaiting their desire to reinstate relationship. as a child my No’s were never listened to, it’s why I am so strong in listening to others now! Thank YOU, for your understanding, not many are.
Thank God for people like you that can bring more to us. And Praise God we can pray to him for help through Jesus Christ. Amen
Thanks for sharing this space together, Yvonne.
Hi Bonnie,
Our church is closely aligned with Ratanak International in Cambodia. They work with young girls who have been trafficked and suffered untold abuse. Here is one of the posts from Lisa: http://ratanakmissions.blogspot.ca/2013/09/bitter-sweet-moments.html
and my sister works at Place of Rescue also in Cambodia that houses those discarded by society, those with AIDS, grannies, previously trafficked girls and boys.
Their stories, along with Amy’s special little girl, are horrendous and sear your soul. How could anyone perpetrate such evil on children? In Cambodia it is the children’s own family who sell them. Even more heart-rending. God will avenge on behalf of these little ones. On the other hand, He is turning these ‘ashes’ into beauty as these young women, now rescued and given a new life, are thriving. Indeed a miracle. Our God accomplishes what we cannot: http://ratanakmissions.blogspot.ca/2011/10/redemption.html
None of us can be separated from God’s love by Satan’s evil. May God’s love pursue this young girl wherever she goes. And you.
Blessings, Sita
It can get so suffocatingly overwhelming if we focus on all the darkness… but as you’ve shown here… we can bring a light one at a time to one child at a time. Hope wins. Always. Always. Always. Love wins. Thanks, Sita.
I feel so broken-hearted for this little girl, yet I feel hope. You and your friend gave her the best of yourselves along with acceptance and warm-fuzzies – and what incredible , non-tangible expressions of faith. I pray that Special Little Girl takes those treasures and holds them close as she waits for her forever home on Earth. Thank you for your words, Bonnie.
– Kristin
Hope wins. Always. Always. Always. Love wins. So thankful we can share this space together, Kristin. And remember what we hold in us and share in any moment is greater than any darkness.
Oh my, Bonnie, yours is the second comment that has made my heart skip a beat!! Must be running my race. Thank you so much for your encouragement. ♡
This stood out to me in my blog feed today and I clicked on it first. I just submitted my final paperwork for foster care licensing yesterday. I’ve passed through excitement and am moving into the realization that I am the most irresponsible person ever and I haven’t been to the grocery store in a month (maybe more?!) and how can I be a parent. This is why. Somehow, I’ll remember to go to the grocery store too. Thanks for this.
yes, Sarah, go to the grocery store! 🙂 May you feel the wind on you back as you move forward with the foster care journey. May God guide you every step of this living journey.
heart broken here
tears flowing
praying for all the “special little girls”
and for the little girl in each of us
your poem. our prayer. thank you, firefly.
today’s post really hurts – why? because my daughter’s husband has been guardian of a boy for 8 years. This boy was abandoned by his parents when he was 3, and then by an aunt, at age 4 – all three had drug problems. His wife was the aunt, which is how he took guardianship. When the boy was 7 when their house burnt down, so the boy stayed at someone else’s house for several months. There was always suspicion that he started the fire. During the past 18 months there have been many problems with him . .. from anger, to deliberate disobedience, to acts of violence. He has been in counseling, but it hasn’t helped. He is 13 and was expelled from school. They have been praying about what to do. They have done all they could do, The courts (because of an incident at school) have given them two choices: 1. a school for troubled kids, with counseling once a week, where he would still live at home OR 2. a boarding school – with counseling and programs for troubled kids. They have chosen to send him away (to protect my daughter and her son). Once he is in the school, my son-in-law will relinquish guardianship. We all feel this is best for him. He isn’t getting the help he needs in their home. this means he will enter the foster care system at some point. This has been very painful to come to this point. We have already begun praying that he will enter a home where they are trained to deal with difficult children and where they will care about him and come to love him. But it hurts to know he will feel unwanted, unloved and rejected. I thank God that there are foster parents who love these children. Who show kindness and concern.
love is an unpredictable journey… I’m so sorry there is so much pain involved for everyone… for your son-in-law, this boy who has been abandoned and hasn’t found his way… for you daughter, her son, and for all involved. drugs destroy so many lives and the wreckage is human hearts… Lord Jesus, be with Susan’s entire family and with this boy who you love and need to reach and rescue from the path he is on. Bring restoration and we know you are in it for the long haul. This is too big for us to even process. Take care of all of us…
Hebrews tells us that it was the joy that was set before Him that Jesus endured the cross. That joy wasn’t His reunion with the Father, but rather the saving hope for us. When we take the bread and cup we remember that He went to the furthest extreme to keep a promise of reconciliation with us, to give us a home with Him even now. It’s overwhelming, but such is His great love. His willingness demonstrates His faithfulness. He can make a way.
“God places the solitary in families and gives the desolate a home in which to dwell…” Psalm 68:6
Dunlizzie… I love, love, love what you shared here with us — about the joy set before him — and a *home* — you reminded me/us of something so hopeful. This verse in Psalms… I am cutting and pasting into my scrapbook of beautiful things for the soul. thank you. you are a faith barista — you know just the right words in the moment… always you are…
<3
Thank you so much to share such a lovely and true story. We all go through tough moments..-right now I have an elderly aunt that´s having problems with herself, being her so independent and now having to depend on others is too difficult for her to accept and her mood has changed too much. I need lots of prayers for all of us in the family so we can help help as she needs. I know God will never leave us alone. Amen
transitions are so hard on all of us, when we’re used to doing life as we have been. it takes us to the little girl places in us to feel so disoriented and needy. may you and the family also find some support. and time to emotionally connect in coming alongside your aunt on this journey… thanks for sharing, Angela. i’m sure lots of friends here can relate.
Bonnie, what a heartbreaking post. My eyes teared up over this poor, sweet girl. I was reminded that inside all of us still lives a small girl. And somewhere along the line, that little girl got injured, belittled, minimized, traumatized. We all have open wounds that bleed deep inside.
My post this week shares something from Sunday’s church message – and it has heartened my soul. Jesus prayed for us. And what He had to say is well worth remembering.
He loves us – always has, always will. And may His healing come through His wounds.
GOD BLESS.
I’m looking forward to reading your heart, Sharon.thank you.
I read the post today and can’t stop crying. I wasn’t gonna respond, but it spoke deep to my heart — I am Special Little Girl — to God’s heart. I am just having a hard time grasping that truth and promise from HIM. LOVE YA!
Oh, Katie — I’m so glad you did respond. We can be present with you in your story!
Is there any way you can possibly adopt her? your heart is open. I will pray for her and for you. Perhaps it was no accident you got to meet her.
Stories like this rip at my heart, and the part that always haunts me is that sometimes we are so helpless in stopping these kinds of terrible things. It reminds me of how women are treated in Muslim countries. I’ve heard the stories on PBS. It doesn’t stop there either. Ignorant, power hungry people walk the earth and maim and destroy. Sometimes those dark stores seem so ominous and it can threaten belief in a loving God. Yet, I know Him…have felt His presence and seen the light of His healing. But I am safe. I guess right now I just want to pray…’Dear God, if I can help in any way, please make this way open for me.’ Thank you, Bonnie for your beautiful words. I’m glad some of us are safe now.
How artfully you wove together Jesus’ Last Supper with his disciples and the story of Special Little Girl. As always, Bonnie, you have touched our spirits. Our hearts ache for Special Little Girl and all children in similar circumstances. How much more must our perfect Savior mourn over them as they endure mistreatment and abandonment. Praise God for Amy and Christian foster parents everywhere, who give these children a chance to experience Jesus’ love.
Jesus is made manifest through your writing today Bonnie. Everything has gone silent within me, deep inside. Such suffering. Such Love. There’s only Jesus that can truly touch these places, in each of us and through us. Bless you beautiful woman. Truly.
The promise of no more sorrow, no more tears. Heaven’s home.
The hope of living without the anxiety, waking up without panic and anxious thoughts And, oh, without the related stress of flying and dealing with so many upcoming trips!
One day, all will be made whole, praying for a piece of it here on earth!
[…] As I sat at Pertle Springs today, reading my Bible and crying, God saw and heard my heart even when I could not utter a word. He knows what is going on in my heart better than I do. He sees me in my darkest hour and darkest corners of my heart, yet he loves me. I am worthy. I am HIS SPECIAL GIRL (as Bonnie over at Faith Barista also reminded me today.) […]
Beautiful remembrance of his special girls. We are one day closer to going home. Let’s take as many of His special girls with us!
“Faith Barista” has been included in the Sites To See for this week. Be assured that I hope this helps to point many new visitors in your direction.
http://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2014/03/sites-to-see_14.html
beautiful post…….yes , the little girl’s heart of wanting to belong to a family and not be the one standing outside,looking in the window of the dream I want to see happen. What’s wild is that it looks impossible, but that is God’s specialty. I think of Joseph and his dream. I think he may have had moments of doubt and wondering if his dream would happen. How impossible it looked. And yet, God did it! Sarah,probably wanting a baby from day one. She’s past the age of childbearing and God comes along and tells her she is going to have a baby. She laughs because it’s so unbelievable. She helps out God. He still comes through. She has a baby. Impossible to us, but NOT TO HIM!!!!
Rebecca
So heartbreaking… beautifully written. This story stayed with me a long time.
Bonnie, I bawled when I read this. I too will pray for Special Little Girl. As a teacher, I have seen so many children that have broken my heart. Children failed by their birth families, failed by the court system……hurt so badly by those who are supposed to love and help. My heart aches.
Oh, in a world that is so broken, we all need Jesus! He who understands our pain. He who suffered in our place. Thank you, Jesus!
Thank you for this post Bonnie. It will linger in my thoughts for times to come……..
Jesus please open a family’s heart to this special little girl…let her feel loved by them and by You. Amen.
Special Little Girls –
My father & mother split up when I was less than 3 yrs old. I went to live with my grandmother, nearly 60 yrs, & her husband who was a deeply wounded man. Daddy lived there, too.
Daddy struggled with alcohol all his life; he never got free from it. There were many dark days growing up between my grandfather’s ragings, the alcohol, my mother’s death when I was 12 yrs (cancer), and the sexual abuse by a great uncle that lasted five years.
The only solace was my grandmother’s love. I can remember her stroking my hair, kissing my cheek, and telling me she loved me. One day, she got a collection of pictures of little girls. One, she said was me…she had a beautiful white furry hat on. Her hair was black as glass, and her eyes, blue as the ocean. She was beautiful! Funny thing is, I don’t have black hair or blue eyes, but she saw something of me in that picture. I don’t know what it was other than the beauty of innocence. I still have that picture today & I am nearly 60 years old now.
I remember my last moments with her, just before she walked into heaven. She looked up from the hospital bed and raised her hand to my face. I can feel it still, ever so gentle, ever so soft upon my face. She looked up at me and said, “I love you so much!”
Daddy was a good man tormented by alcohol and his failures in life. They went hand in hand. Looking back, I can barely imagine how much courage it took for my father to get up every morning and face another day.
Though daddy struggled with alcohol, I knew he loved us. Every Sunday, he would take us to Mass, then to the donut shop where I would have a maple cream donut & hot chocolate.
He would take us fishing, and he would watch Alfred Hitchcock movies with us. There always came that moment in the movie we were on the edge of our seats, every hair on our necks standing strait up! In that tension filled moment, daddy would sneak outside into the blackness of the night and wait…for just the right moment…BANG! BANG! BANG! on the window! The flash light jerked on, his distorted face shone clear, his false teeth hanging from his mouth and blood curdling screams rushed from his mouth!
Gravity could not hold us! We flew to the moon & back! When we finally landed, daddy was back inside, and we were all laughing and hugging each other.
These moments helped to soften the feelings of darkness, abandonment, loneliness & fear that gripped my heart…still grip my heart at nearly 60 years of age.
I am going back now, trying to allow healing in my inner most parts; to remember that there were good moments; trying to release the bad, trying to make that supernatural exchange…fear for peace, abandonment for His Presence; a spirit of heaviness for joy; for the joy of the Lord is our strength.
That just shows how God can make a icky situation into a very beautiful one.
Dear Victoria, what a beautiful, beautiful post you wrote here — I could feel the love you hold in your heart for your daddy. And the love he holds for you, eventhough he was broken by the alcohol. Hold onto those beautiful moments of when your little girl felt loved with the presence of your daddy — and may it lead you into the presence of our Heavenly Father who is eternally holding us both — holding you. Yes, going back now to heal your inner parts is worth the journey, friend. May God uneartch beautiful moments along with the painful, broken ones as well. Because they are both true for us. We are being made whole. Thank you for not hiding and honoring us with your story. You are beautiful. beautiful to Jesus. And to use. I feel so honored you are here, friend.
I was in foster care for awhile when I was 3 up until 4 1/2. So I know how special girl feels. I can’t believe her family can’t see how sweet she is! I wish I was old enough to adopt her and I so would! I am soooo praying for her! I plan on being a social worker and being a foster parent when I am older. I love children with a passion and have always told them I love them. Now, I am going to also tell them Jesus loves them too. I wish we could just get all hurting kids and take them in our arms and protect them. All we can do is pray and believe most of the time. Please pray for me as well. I am contemplateing breaking a 6 month streak of no cutting. Any encouragement would be most appreciated. Ciao until another time.
Sweet Jasmine. You are special little girl. Held in the arms of Jesus. And we are soul sisters on this journey called life. You have survived so much. I’m so sorry you had to walk through the foster care system, but now you are using your light to help others. So beautiful how you want to be a social worker and a foster parent. (I’m choking up, so touched, so proud of you, girl!). Jesus is touching others through *you* and your story. All of it. Dear Jesus, you see Jasmine and all she’s gone through. I ask you now to give her special courage and also kindness as she is feeling very weak — and may break her 6 month streak of no cutting. I pray you give her the inner strength and encouragement to turn away from the cutting — and head into the open with her pain — to share her story and share her suffering and terrible memories so that the pain can come out in stead of stay inside through the cutting. You know her pain and her struggle. Bring people to help her on this journey of healing.In Jesus’ name, Amen. Jasmine, you are *gold*. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You’re loved as is.
Thank you so much. I am happy and relieved to report that I didn’t break it! Thank you Mrs. Bonnie, thank you so much. I have been through more than what I wrote, but maybe in time, if I have the strength, I will tell more. You are special too, and I am happy I found a place where I can express my self more. I am scared though. Scared I won’t be able to move past my past. Know what I mean? I want to live more for God, but don’t know how. I KNOW somewhere in me that I am loved ass is, but I just don’t Feel like that. I still feel like love has to be earned.
I needed to read this today. I am on a healing journey from my past abuse and rape. I have a hard time believing anyone could really love me. There are many ” one words” that speak to me however, trust is the one that is the loudest.
The one word for me was “healing” – as I was reading another sister in Christ’s blog post yesterday, it touched me so, and as I commented, I could feel the real emotions flooding. I took that and started to write on my own and I discovered some thing buried down in me. I am amazed at how writing is a form of discovery and healing, and I am amazed that he continued speaking today to me through yours, about healing. He is just so wonderful and I am thankful our paths crossed. I am praying for you and those other ladies. I know being real, open and honest is going to bless and heal.
Also, this one line especially stuck out to me this morning:
“Maybe when Jesus looked into the eyes of everyone he had been living, traveling, and eating with — he saw the little boys and girls hidden within each of them.”
Yes, yes, yes!!!!!
Pain is so real for us all but definitely to varying degrees. Maybe even like a roller coaster…sometimes it’s minor twinges but other times we feel crushed. Crushed is the word that stuck out to me. It’s so descriptive of the kind of pain we can experience when it’s at its worst. I can say I have felt crushed. As a child of an abusive home I remember feeling like I couldn’t even breathe at times. I have lost many of my family members, and miscarried two of my own babies. These are the times I have felt crushed. Honestly, when I was a child I distinctly remember peace coming to me in my times of fear and I knew it was Jesus. As a young adult I had lost some of my child like faith and did not seek the peace from the Holy Spirit in me like I knew to do. I struggled alone. I pray that I grow closer to my Lord so when those crushing times come again, as we know they will, I immediately feel him near me. His peace is beyond all understanding and he tells us he is always near.
Bonnie,
So excited to hear you are coming to my state, PA! Welcome to the melting snow – finally! I’ve been to this particular Gettysburg retreat in the past to hear a Soul-Favorite author speak AND am disappointed I didn’t know YOU were the speaker this year or I would have made plans to attend. Just recently got your book to read although I’ve read along online for awhile. I will definitely hold you and the attendees in my prayers this wknd. Deep peace to you as you share your/His heart. <3
Near is the word! I am so grateful He is near. Thank you, after a moring of frustrating tears dealing with insurance mess ups.
Brokenhearted is the word that speaks to my soul this morning. I love how God draws near to the brokenhearted and dwells with us as our wounds heal. I had to have emergency neurosurgery about 4 weeks ago, and I am not new to the recovery of surgery, In fact I’ve been there 22 times. Even now God is teaching me that with unexpected trials there are unexpected miracles on the way. Sometimes they are small, but they are there and they are real. He restores us with new hope even when we feel brokenhearted. Because that’s what God does. He restores. He renews. He makes us new. He heals our wounds, and shows us that those scars tell some of our most beautiful stories filled with redemption, hope, and eventually peace. Thank you for your encouraging words that point us on a journey where we know that God is always near even when we feel He is so far away.
The one word that speaks to me today is brokenhearted. Jesus is so good to us as we try to heal from our broken hearts! PRAISE GOD! I am looking forward to celebrating my 4th year of sobriety on April 20th. It hasn’t been easy but as long as a I lean on Jesus day by day he is giving me a peace which passes all understanding! Thank you for sharing your story and your openness to listening to the stories of others. God bless you!
Hi Pamela, CONGRATULATONS!!! 4th year celebration. I celebrate with you!! I am celebrating my 4th year of “sobriety” from the first moment I had panic attacks and had to quit my “soul addiction” with people pleasing, hiding and performing. 🙂 that is very numbing even though it looks good on the outside. That’s what I shared in my book “Finding Spiritual Whitespace” and I’m so happy to share everything on my journey with you through the book and on the blog here. hugs! God bless you, Pamela! God is good.
Bonnie, I was truly moved by your words and the reminder of God’s love. I pray for you and all of the women attending the retreat this weekend. God bless each and every one.
I am overwhelmingly brokenhearted due to many abandonments. The Lord reassures me there is nothing wrong with me because He lives in my heart; but it is often hard to look in a mirror and believe it. I am no longer young and have such a need for a heart-friend, a family, whatever. I know the Lord hears me, sees me. But this earthly walk is sometimes so difficult.
hi kathy, it’s really important that you find one or two confidantes during this time of brokenheartedness. Please take a moment to read the devotional blog post I wrote today about “Let Me Stay and Hold You Today”. We weren’t made to journey alone – even Jesus on his worst night of his life, when he broke down, he didn’t want to be alone. He always prayed and often prayed alone. But, that night, when Jesus was overwhelmed, he had to invite others in. If even Jesus needed someone, how much more do we! 🙂 It may feel hard to as you are feeling so downcast, but please do try. I pray Jesus you bring someone to Kathy’s mind right now & pray for her courage to reach out and allow you to be with her through a person who can be with her on her journey. in Jesus name, Amen. // thanks for sharing, kathy.