We all need someone.
This is a beautiful, lonely, hard, and easy truth.
Beautiful if you have someone.
Lonely if you don’t.
Hard for the times you’d rather not need.
Easy for the times when someone you need — needs you too.
You might look at me — getting ready to birth a book in print very soon.
And you might think I ought to be so happy.
I am.
But, I also want to confide in you.
Even Though
I want to tell you that the journey to really being you — the journey to really finding your voice may inevitably lead you back to parts of your story — people, experiences, conversations or situations — that you’d rather avoid.
Where you’ve been rejected. Where you decided to hide. To be safe rather than vulnerable and real.
You may have to make some hard decisions where there are no desirable outcomes.
You may have to take up a cross that’s been hard to bear.
Maybe like me, in order to follow God where He wants to take you, you will need to go through suffering. Loss.
Even though you know God is with you,
and even though you know faith will get you through,
you cannot avoid the hardness of the journey.
Even though there is much to be thankful for you — and your heart is truly grateful for all the ways God is walking with you — you cannot deny the weight of the cross on your shoulders.
The hardness of the journey doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path.
Who Am I
As each week passes by, the pressures that come along the journey stepping out with my story have been steadily increasing.
I’ve been having to face a lot of hard decisions, deadlines, while doing a tremendous amount of writing, more than I’ve done in the two years I’ve been on the journey to heal from anxiety and panic attacks.
All the while, voices from my past grow louder, fears press in closer, and I don’t feel so well.
It’s too hard. Who am I to think I can make this journey?
After Jesus was beaten on the head by the reed the Roman soldiers put in his hand to mock him as king, after they crushed a crown of thorns into his head, and after they had flogged him with whips, Jesus was thrown out of the Praetorium.
The Pretorium was the governors hall, where Pontius Pilate gave Jesus the death sentence, where the soldiers assaulted Jesus emotionally, hurling unspeakable wounding words targeted to bring shame and humiliation.
It wasn’t enough to break his body.
They wanted to break His heart and His spirit with their words.
Need Someone
After this takes place in the secrecy of the Praetorium, Jesus is expected to take his first steps through the Via Dolorosa. In front of everyone.
“When they led Him away, they seized a man, Simon of Cyrene, coming in from the country, and placed on him the cross to carry behind Jesus.” Luke 23:26
My friend Kevin Marks in his Stations-of-the-Cross reflection writes, “Following his beating, it’s likely Jesus could not physically carry the cross all the way to Calvary.”
Jesus needed someone.
In that moment, a man whose journey somehow crossed his path was pulled in to help him.
Kevin continues — “We don’t know if Simon even knew who Jesus was. Did they even exchange any words? All we know is that an ordinary person helped the Savior. Through one simple, understated act, became part of the journey with Jesus.”
And I’m reminded.
It’s okay to need someone.
When the cross is too heavy to carry, but we still want to be faithful to see the journey through, needing someone isn’t a shameful.
Kindreds
My therapist tells me experiencing anxiety is not cause for alarm. I’m headed in the right direction — following my heart — speaking in my full voice — with Jesus. And with others.
He tells me if I went back to hiding and staying safe, I would experience no anxiety.
So, I think of Jesus and I imagine how His steps on the Via Dolorosa were soaked in anxiety, physically disorienting suffering, and emotional anguish against the sea of voices. And I think of Simon who walked that hard stretch of broken road alongside him.
I close my eyes. And I think of all the Simons who have quietly crossed my path — without my awareness God led them to help carry my cross when I could not carry it further any longer.
And I feel a lump rising in my throat, different than the one that tells me to be afraid. My soul remembers I can make this journey ahead.
Because there are kindreds walking this journey who understand. Friends who went from being strangers to become brothers and sisters. Friends who have made space in their lives to help me. So, that I didn’t have to journey so alone.
You know, words have been my trusted companions for many seasons of my life as a little girl. I thought words were only a solitary comfort for me.
But, He’s transformed words to become a bridge from my heart to yours. Together, I look back at my journey and I see how words have led you to me. You are my Simons-of-words, carrying the burden with me, swapping stories and reading in between the lines. Thank you for carrying me one post at a time.
Take A Moment
Who are the Simons in your life that have won a special place in your personal history?
Who has carried your cross? Who has helped you in your life, whether in your spiritual journey or otherwise?
Who has prayed for you? Who has been there for you?
Who has been your Simon?
None of us can make it through this life alone. Even Jesus journeyed with trusted friends, many of which were killed because of their association with Him.
Take a moment and think of someone who has helped you along your journey.
Picture them. What they said. How they said it. What they did. how they did it.
Close your eyes and think of them. Pray for them. As you do, thank God for them. Ask God to bless and protect them.
As you feel prompted, write them an email. Or walk over to your drawer, find note card, pick up your pen and write them a message of thanks to them.
Take a moment to thank these understated people who have helped you climb the hill of life.
A Beautiful Truth
And if you’re struggling to think of a Simon, yet longing to need one, dare to let someone know of your need. Someone safe. Someone who has walked a journey similar to yours.
Pull someone into your story, so they can help you carry and lighten the burden.
I’m going to be sending today’s post to some Simons in my life. And thanking them.
Because they’ve transformed my need for someone to become a beautiful truth.
And I’m no longer so lonely in my heart anymore.
We all need someone.
That needing is good because it creates space for God to enter in. And love us through others.
Thank you Jesus for walking the lonely road, so I don’t have to walk lonely anymore. You’ve made it okay for me to need someone. I’m thinking of you. Thank you. I love you. You are beautiful to me. Amen.
~~~~~~
Take a moment to be present in this moment.
Pull up a chair. Click to comment. Share. As you feel prompted.
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A Special 7-Week Faith Jam Series: {The Journey}
For the seven Faith Jam Thursdays leading up to Easter, I am selecting writing prompts to reflect movements in Lent. Lent means “The Way of the Cross”. In other words, Lent is “The Journey”.
You have been my safety to find my voice here on the blog and I hope this space here on Faith Barista can be that for you — as we explore these Journey-Inspired prompts together.
Let’s do this. You and me. Us and together. Let’s swap some stories.
This is a soulful, creative 7 week journey to open our hearts and journey together. You can write in the comments or link up with your blog posts.
~~~~~~
**NOW, IT’S YOUR TURN — LINK UP IN THE FAITH JAM **
HTML Code For the Faith Jam Faith Fresh Badge
Faith Barista Jam Thursdays
1) I serve up a writing prompt. Let the topic soak in your heart, then publish your post the following Thursday and link up to share it with us. If you don’t have a blog, just write directly in the comments.
TO LINK UP: Click the blue button below: “Add Your Link” and type in the *specific* URL to your blog post (not just the name of your blog). (Subscribers: click here to get there directly).
2) Place the Faith Jam Badge in your post. It’s a welcome sign for our community, inviting others. Grab the HTML Code above. Thank you.
3) Then, pull up a chair. Visit the post before yours and say hi with a comment. Make a faith friend.
*Today’s Thursday’s 4/3/14 Writing prompt :
Your Cross
This prompt is inspired by themes of Lent. Week #5 of {The Journey Series}, the journey to Easter.*Next Thursday 4/10/14 Writing prompt:
Broken
This prompt is inspired by themes of Lent. Week #6 of {The Journey Series}, the journey to Easter.May the writing prompt bring you to a quiet place inside your soul and spark a soul conversation to share with us in community.
Approach it any way you feel inspired! Only required ingredient: keep it real. Click here to learn more.
‘);
// ]]>
** Don’t miss! ** If you are new to Faith Barista, I’d like welcome you here.Click to subscribe by email and get each post in this series served up hot and fresh directly in your mailbox.
52 Comments
Such beautiful and necessary words today. All those friends, acquaintances , and strangers who have come into our lives have helped us get where we are today. Personally, I attend meetings geared towards people in my boat-in a relationship with a person with an addiction (active or dormant) and they have truly been”Simons” in my life. And, Bonnie, thank you. You have been such an amazing
encourager to me- helping me get out of my boat and onto the water. ((♡))
Kristin, it’s great you’ve found a community to be you — with others who understands what it’s like to be in a relationship with addiction. We can’t do this alone and the lie that we should is one you broke by sharing here. Thank you.
Another awesome post, Bonnie. I must share this one with one of my Simons who is truly in need now. I love the word bridge description you shared with us. I may even create my own version of that word picture in my new art journal. God bless and protect you always, but especially on this leg of your journey in Jesus’ Name and Honor.
Yes, share with your Simon — I would love to see what you do with “bridge” in your art journal! 🙂 if you feel prompted, take a picture and post on my Facebook. only if you feel okay about it. it just would be beautiful. 😉
Bonnie, I so look forward to reading your words. They are always a balm to my heart and spirit. I am in the midst of my journey and though it took me a very long time, I finally reached out and I am where I am today because of the Simon’s in my life. I will thank them today.
I know, it’s so, so hard to be in the journey, but God doesn’t care how long. He can turn back time because He is eternal. And we are eternally loved. It’s amazing to hear your journey, Kim. Thanks.
I’m so thankful for the Simons in my life, too. I spent last night with one who listened to me bemoan about a situation that needs changing.
“The hardness of the journey doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path.”
Thanks for this truth, Bonnie. Sometimes we think it’s a bad sign when the journey is hard, but not necessarily so. Thanks for allowing us to walk alongside you on your journey.
It’s so good to know you have a Simon to turn to and share the burden. Listening is such a powerful, powerful act of cross carrying, don’t you think? It’s one of the most underrated powerful gift — one I’m only starting to have courage to receive. Because it means I have to share! 🙂 I hope the conversation that was shared that night with your Simon will continue to be a source encouragement in the moments you’re having to walk through the realities of this bemoaning situation, Lisa. You know I’m with you in spirit, friend.
I think of so many people that the Lord has brought into my life to walk alongside me. At different seasons, I had a need and He provided me all I needed. People who love Jesus and were able to lend me a helping hand or a listening ear or pointed me to the Scriptures I needed to hear and read.
Yes, we need each other. How thankful I am for the blogging world that brings us together so we can encourage one another in our walks. Even though we’ve not met in person, it makes no difference as we share our hearts with one another. So grateful that you are opening up yours Bonnie.
Blessings and love,
Debbie
So grateful someone can be a “debbie” to you — as you are Debbie to us. Simon-burden-lifting friend and listener on this journey.
My cross is learning not to kick and fight when I’m in “the fellowship of his suffering”, but to yield to him, commit myself to him and let Him fight my battles. We must all walk the path of suffering if we are to be like Him. Thank you Bonnie for your willingness to be transparent. Cindy
Cindy, thanks for being here Thursday morning and sharing. It’s comforting to have company for the journey.
Beautiful, Bonnie. Thanks for being willing to be vulnerable and share your heart. I can relate to the anxiety of stepping out, when hiding in a shell would be safer.
Two faces come to mind when I think of my Simons. One has been a friend for 35 years, the other for about five. But both have walked with me through the roughest times of my life, prayed for me, and encouraged me. I have thanked both of them, but maybe it’s time to do that again!
that’s pretty special, Melissa. to have a friend who has known you from long before and another friend who knows you for who in the recent years. that is worth gold.
Thank you so much for being transparent and letting us into your story. As I was reading your post, two Simons came to mind. My family went through several months of struggling. We met a couple, who we’ve known for a little more than 1 year, who has been such a blessing to us. They’ve become more like family than some, or most of my own blood relatives. After getting to know all of our flaws and shortcomings, they never treated us differently. When we had nothing to offer, they extended themselves to us. Before meeting them, it was so difficult to let people in, and to admit that we needed someone. I have thanked them, but I would love to be able to do something special for them to show them how much we appreciate them.
this couple you shared with us is worth gold. people like them restore and heal wounds from the past. beautiful. it blessed my heart to hear of such goodness in your life, Lisa. and made me smile (God is good. He knows.).
As always, thank you, Bonnie, for being so transparent. You so often speak the language of my heart. I can understand how this writing of a book stirs up more anxiety, but I’m so proud of you for it. This place of writing “real” is making me feel more vulnerable and raw, but your courage to go forward in spite of your anxiety gives me hope. The post I let out today is especially tearing me up, but God is showing me that there really are people who understand. It’s hard for me to open my heart to accept support, probably because I was the most hurt in my life when I did seek support and counsel. But God is showing me how much I miss when I don’t allow others to carry my cross with me. I thank you and this community for being my Simons. When I think of you all, I thank my God for His tender mercies. May God give each of you hope, healing, and freedom through Jesus!
Hi Trudy, it’s a new dawn. So awesome you’re stepping out to find new kindreds, even in the reality that there have been hurt in the past. It takes courage to reach out and find them. but it’s worth it. thnx for sharing.
Hi Bonnie,
Yes, we all absolutely need someone on our journey. Although we all have Jesus right here with us at all times, sometimes He sends us a human to help us through it all. Then we, in turn, can be that someone to another human. Sometimes it just takes the right comment from someone to bring us from despair into the Light.
There were times when I felt utterly alone but really wasn’t because Jesus was always there. He never leaves or deserts us. Not for one nanosecond.
But there are times when we need to have a person there with us to comfort us, hold our hand, give us a hug and see us through whatever we are going through.
it’s true. it’s amazing how that one hug or certain words are the very thing that can suddenly lift our hearts up and out. and we have fresh breath for that one moment.
Bonnie,
These are wonderfully blessed words and thoughts you share with us, today. I believe all of us can relate to a time in our lives where we were crushed and weary. But, what resonates even more for me, personally, are the times that I needed help carrying my cross and would not allow others to help–not even Jesus, for I felt it was my own doing, so I’d better learn to bear the cross of my actions…such a silly and selfish way to behave. Well, I have grown over the years and I am willing to allow others into my life to help me bear my crosses. Sometimes, bearing another’s cross is a blessing to the bearer. And, allowing the Lord to comfort and carry us, means we have faith and confidence in Him. We become prayer warriors instead of victims, when we let Him into our lives and pour-out our hearts. Sharing our journey opens our eyes, hearts and souls, allowing us to see that this journey is not to be traveled alone, but with others and our Lord. Suffering alone is difficult and depending on the circumstances, it can become a selfish act. We all need each other~ Much joy and many blessings! Cynthia
Hi Bonnie,
This resonates with what I am going through. I so identify with – the burdens are real even though you feel very blessed. Today I feel a community with you and your blog friends as sisters in faith. Your story is special.
Karen
I know you like to write and blog, but have you ever considered getting a Youtube channel? It would be a blessing :D!
[…] The Faith Barista posted this just today: “Following his beating, it’s likely Jesus could not physically carry the cross all the way to Calvary. Jesus needed someone. In that moment, a man whose journey somehow crossed his path was pulled in to help him. We don’t know if Simon even knew who Jesus was. … All we know is that an ordinary person helped the Savior. Through one simple, understated act, became part of the journey with Jesus. And I’m reminded. It’s okay to need someone. When the cross is too heavy to carry, but we still want to be faithful to see the journey through, needing someone isn’t a shameful. … needing is good because it creates space for God to enter in. And love us through others.” […]
Hi Bonnie,
God uses your words to speak to my heart. Yes, we do need others on our journey. Relying on oneself is tempting and easy at first, but eventually leads to a system breakdown. It sounds corny, but people really do need people. Your gentle reminder that Christ needed another to help carry His cross because physically He couldn’t do it alone. If He couldn’t do it alone, then why do I think I can? “I close my eyes. And I think of all the Simons who have quietly crossed my path — without my awareness God led them to help carry my cross when I could not carry it further any longer.” My prayer is for each of us to be a Simon to another. Thank you kindred one. 🙂
So thankful to not be going it alone… SO thankful. I can’t emphasize it enough. Thanks again, Bonnie.
Bonnie, no matter what your season, your words always manage to slip in through my carefully crafted armor and touch my heart with hope and grace.
Thank you more than I can say. Thank you, friend.
tears……. I need someone. You have been that someone and so have others. Thank you Bonnie. I couldn’t find my voice today, it has been hard, but I read your words and they calmed me some today. Thank you friend.
My “Simon” in this life has been my friend of 6 years, Laran. She is 50 and I am 15 so she has a lot of years on me. I love her like she was my mom though. She and I have been in a lot of the same situations so she is able to help me sift through all of it. She is wonderful and quiet. I have more ‘Simons’ in my life, but her and my dad are the most constant ones.
As God brings people to mind, specifically the “Simons” who have made an eternal impact on my life being the instruments of God, I have sent a thank you note. I’ve had some startling responses by a couple of people who literally ‘bawled’ when they got my letter. They happened to be in a season where they felt insignificant. God’s timing. I still have one professor that I have been trying to find for many years, but I have been unsuccessful. Yes, please, I do agree with you, Bonnie, remember the “Simons”, and do let them know. It could make a world of difference.
More than that, I need to remember to be a “Simon”, to be ‘present’ with the people God places in my path, to see them through God’s eyes, to be God’s voice, ears or hands to them. This would have been me, naturally, many years ago, but depression has robbed me of clarity and being ‘present’. So I pray for clarity and presence. Again, Bonnie, thank you.
[…] Social Justice kristinemac April 3, 2014 Leave a Comment The Hard Journey “The hardness of the journey doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path.” Bonnie Gray–The Faith Barista […]
Your honesty and willingness to be vulnerable is such a gift, my friend. I’m so glad you have had someone to help lift your burden as you’ve walked the hard path and can offer the same ot others now. God is doing a beautiful work in you. 🙂
Thanks, Kristine. I cannot do this without faith friends and word kindreds like you. I hope you’re writing is continue to flow and you’re encouraged as much as you encourage us here!
It took me a long while to realize what my cross was and what it’s purpose was for. It also took me a while to recognize the Simon’s in my life. Great post Bonnie.
i know what you mean, stacey. i’m sure your story is all the more richer for your discovery of what this meant for you. the real you. dawning. “dawninginspiration” – it’s the perfect blog name that reflects what you shared here. 🙂
Thanks Bonnie. I’m honored by your response.
It took me a while to figure out what my cross was and what it’s purpose in my life was to be. I can appreciate it now….and the Simon’s who God has brought me along the way.
Darling, it’s ok to be anxious – it’s hard to break the habit of a lifetime, especially under stress but know that God is with you every step of the way, holding your hand, guiding you to the light. You are a wonderful talented girl who has the gift of touching the souls of others. We are all scaredy cats! We are all weak but you, with the help of The Lord, make us feel we are not alone. Thank you xx
Sweet Gail. You *are* an encourager! You have the gift of encoruagement. Thank you for sending me the link of the http://emergingfrombroken.com/disclaimer/ — and thank you for your support and prayers. ((hugs))
I have to say I love the analogy of each one of us having “Simon’s” in our lives. I have a few who have been an absolute blessing when things were at their darkest and for that I am forever thankful! 🙂
Hang in there Bonnie! You’re doing something amazing by sharing your story. I can’t wait to read it and share with my friends!
You’re in my prayers 🙂
(((HUGS)))
Aw.. you’re so sweet, Krista! Those friends in the dark are *the* sweetest. You never forget them, as they meet us right at the moment we cannot pick up our cross.
You have been a Simon for me. Your words, your heart and your journey. Thank you for sharing your story. It is much like mine, although the setting is different. May God continue to bless you and carry you when you feel weak. Thank you for being you, and letting God use your journey to be a Simon for myself and others!
Hi Tina, your words are Simon-lifting for me, right as I’m on this journey. I can’t tell you how much it warms my heart to know words have connected us in our stories. It’s just seems too good to be true… this journey of weakness becoming a journey of beauty and friendship. but it is! ((hugs))
Words also have been so important to me. That’s why yours wash across the brokenness in my soul and give me hope. With each step I take, God walks with me helping me carry my cross. Words from you and blessings from others who love me give me strength and courage to continue the path towards more healing. It’s good to hear someone else talk about where I’ve been and help me see I am not alone. Being quiet about these wounds keeps the light away. So…I’m glad you’re finding your voice and helping so many of us find ours! It is phenomenal. I share your posts with those I know need the light you give. I find so much peace and joy knowing we are not alone. Thank you…God bless and keep you…may His light keep us all from falling into the pain of darkness again.
Hey Dee… our journeys have already changed — going from glory to glory — with the light of our kindred journeys with Jesus and faith. you words are kindness.
Bonnie, as always, I am so blessed by your sharing. I have had times when friends were very present in my life. And yet, since I’ve moved away, those friends have also drifted away. Sometimes I feel incredibly lonely. However, that being said, I have found such solace in the blogging community. I have made great friends, and have been uplifted by so many people so often.
Thank you for being one of the voices that empowers and encourages me. You have impact, for you speak the words that the Lord gives you…faithfully.
GOD BLESS!
Sweet Sharon, it’s bittersweet sometimes remembering the warmth and kindness of friendship… when our journey takes us through change and we find we must begin on the journey to find new friendship and connection again. May your heart find new kindreds… as you take a breath on a new journey.. and may those voices here in the blogosphere that feed your soul continue to nurture this new chapter. So appreciate your blogging kindship here friend. one post at a time. 😉
[…] up with Faith Barista and the writing prompt is Your […]
So true: “The hardness of the journey doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path.” Thank you, Bonnie, for the timely reminder.
Thank you also for sharing from the depths of your heart, where the hurt, anxiety, and misgivings reside. You are enabling others to face THEIR gremlins! The ripple effect will undoubtedly be huge as your book is published. Press on, Bonnie!
Thank u so much for this. It brought me to tears as im dealing with past issues weighing me down. Im fiercely independent to a fault, having to carry loads to big for me, and i remember times God allowed others to help me a little. Im pretty much alone but seing how God doesnt resent my neediness at times
I just love how each and every blog u post it lines right up in all that I’ve experienced in life that has been extremely hard and to know one doesn’t walk alone is so huge! Thanks again and again and again!!!
Oodles of love ur ways!!!!
So many thoughts swirl through my mind as I read these lines….we may be strangers but through your words I feel a connection that inspires hope in my heart. I believe that the life journey we all are walking isn’t one that our God intended for us to walk alone. Thank you for inviting each of your readers into your beautiful story!