Dear Seven-Year-Old Bonnie,

I know you would never want to say it.  But, I know you are lonely.

I know you are always smiling.  But, deep inside there are tears.

At night, when everyone is finally asleep, you look out into the moonlight peeping in through the second-hand Mickey Mouse curtains left by the family who rented the house before you.

You look at shadows streaming across your walls created by headlights of cars driving past behind your room.

You pull the covers up to your chin and you cry.

You don’t know it, but you are very loved.

There is someone in this world who knows every single thought that crosses your divided heart.  The heart divided between father and mother, your questions and everyone else’s anger and silence.

There is someone who collects every drop of your tears who sits by you at bedside every night.  He knows you find it hard to sleep and it breaks his heart you cannot feel the touch of his hand on yours.

That someone is Jesus.

And He isn’t going to let these hard years, these hard moments pass by unnoticed. Unspoken. Unacknowledged.

It will be painful when you finally realize just how loved you are, because in order to be found, you will have to realize you have been lost.

It’s okay.  Because this is how you will know that you are known.
This someone named Jesus will take all your broken pieces.

And He will make something new and beautiful.

He won’t dishonor your pain by burying the broken pieces away.

Jesus will use everything that has shattered and He will make them His very own and allow them to break His heart for you.

He will then take all that brokenness and draw you to His side, into His embrace — and in that holding, all those broken pieces will be put back together.

And your heart will finally awaken.

You will be real.

You will live a better story.

You will be able to truly, deeply rest.

You are loved.

You are cherished.

You will know this, irrevocably.

Just rest.

~~~~~

Write a letter to your younger self.  What would you say to her, knowing what you know now?

Write a blog post & link up at the end of today’s post.  It’s Whitespace Thursday.

What is one/two words you would say to your younger self?  Click to comment.  You’ll be entered to win a beautiful pitcher to hold a whitespace moment: flowers. 

Comment to Win DaySpring’s Daily Grace Pitcher

I love seeing the bloom of flowers resting in a pitcher.  Something inside me smiles & breathes.

Enter By Sunday 6/15 Midnight:

To celebrate the launch of my book Finding Spiritual Whitespace, DaySpring is giving away (5) FIVE Daily Grace Pitchers so you can enjoy your favorite flowers. Personalize your one/two words on this DaySpring Pitcher to remind the little girl in you to rest.

For Extra Entries:  

Tweet or Facebook this:  “Flowers remind us beauty rests.” @thebonniegray Win a Daily Grace Pitcher {for flowers} bit.ly/1kQCAsC #spiritualwhitespace GIVEAWAY

Then, leave a new comment letting me know.

A Photo Journal From My Book Launch Party

As you know from reading my book, there have been painful memories associated with photos. So, I asked my friend Naphtalie Joy Joiner of Scattered Joy Designs to help me create new memories by capturing photos of my book launch party on Sunday 6/8/14.  A special thank you to kindreds who came to celebrate Sunday evening. You made this memory magical and beautiful.  

(If you’re in the California Bay Area and looking for a photographer to capture some memroies, think of Naphtalie. She’s kind and she tells stories well through her lens.)  

a soulful night of whitespace begins at the dawn of a sunset
(downtown mountain view, California. red rock coffee company, Sunday 7pm 6/8/14)

a quiet space, sunlight conveying its welcome of rest.
(peonies, candles and a book signing)

this book began to be written before i picked up my pen
{ a welcome and an invitation }

“weakness redefined” written & performed by ryan kingsmith
(this song brought me the gift of the memory told in chpt 3 “the toy store”)

 i remember how the room lit with the glow of kindreds,
a sunset seemingly at standstill for us, as we met between the pages,
of a story that has become ours
{reading “the toy store” chpt 3}

 hearts overflowing, kindreds at rest

reading from {the toy store} “finding spiritual whitespace is an intimate movement to receive.”
{photo by janine crum}

 i love how the wall of whitespace canvases are filled with kindreds.
they are God’s true works of art.

mel lindstrom, award winning photographer talks whitespace
{“whitespace brings movement, emotion, and necessary tension”}

 early galleys 
(manuscript back from the publisher in need of editing)

“as i sat there on red rock that night long ago, i felt something i hadn’t felt in a very, very long time. mystery. in that moment, i longed for a different kind of rest other than death. i longed for beauty.”
{reading “the wild things”, chpt 18 (photo by janine crum)

a soulful moment together in the reading as the sun dips

karen wong, award-winning painter, stands next to her work of “transformation”
{karen says “the process itself is the discovery in creating art”}

ryan kingsmith talks about the use of whitespace in song writing
{“when i sit down to tell myself it’s time to write a song, nothing…”
songs often come to him in everyday quiet “riding his bike” or at pause in the car w/ the radio off}

something sweet & something dark chocolately

signing books for a group of kindreds who will be taking the journey of rest
via their book club
(photo by steve joh)

 this is the sweet, babysitter writer laura in chapter 14 {the hallway}
(photo by steve joh)

 a surreal moment
{a childhood dream has come true out of brokenness.  nothing is impossible for God.}
(photo by steve joh)

 this is bindu, a mommy friend who offered kindness of conversation
when the journey was hard
(photo by steve joh)

 this is the sweet amy whose friendship frees me to rest
in chapter 12 {the phone call}

 this is beloved therapist Dr. P – the expert “safari guide” through childhood trauma whose compassionate and amazing work in EMDR helped the little lost girl in me be found and healed
+
 this is my soulmate, love of my life husband Eric – who sacrificed unending love and kindness to take care of me and our boys, so i can heal and find my voice to birth this book.
{this is when wedding vows i never thought i’d rely on became true through eric}
(photo by steve joh)

 To view all the photos from the evening, click here.

Now It’s Your Turn!

Whitespace Thursdays Link Up

Blog about your whitespace moments. 

Publish your post ANY DAY of the week.  

Link up on Thursday.  Visit & comment on the post before yours.

Use the Whitespace Thursday Linkup Badge.

Write what prompts your heart. Share your voice.

Today’s Thursday 6/12/14 writing prompt:  write a letter to your younger self. what would you say to her, knowing what you know now?

Other writing prompts:

* If you’re reading the book, share your discoveries. How is the book speaking to you?
(Submit your post onto my book page too: click here)

*  If you haven’t read the book yet, share your whitespace moments.

– moments of beauty and rest
– feeding your soul
– your alone time with God

* Choose your own open writing prompt.  Be you.

Next Thursday’s 6/19/14 Writing Prompt: Share a special Bible verse that is currently touching your heart with rest and comfort?  Share a whitespace moment.

Thank you for using #spiritualwhitespace to share your pictures on Instagram & Twitter!
It’s fun to see the moments that feed your soul this week!

{email subscribers, click here to link up your post in the Whitespace Linkup.}

Take The Journey of Rest With Me

Take the Finding Spiritual Whitespace journey to make space to rest, despite whatever chaos and stress clutters our everyday lives.

Take the journey of self-discovery with Jesus. Let’s live a better story of rest. Together.

Purchase a copy of my memoir-driven guidebook for yourself and your friends.  Because rest isn’t a journey we need to take alone.  We need each other.

Because some stories can’t be told on a blog.  They are so intimate, they can only echo in the sacred space of the printed page. Letters from my heart bound together for you.

Let’s be kindreds. Let’s meet between the pages of Finding Spiritual Whitespace.

Read about Whitespace from Authors You Love
{click on the endorsements below to visit my friends and read about their Whitespace}

“Why I’m Breaking Up With My Quiet Time” by Lysa TerKeurst

“Help when Your Life Feels Too Busy” by Holley Gerth

“Finding Spiritual Whitespace” by Tsh Oxenreider

( Ann Voskamp shares words of grace at A Holy Experience )