Do you find perfectionism holding you back on your new journey of faith? The top five lies of perfectionism can be wiped out with five truths to set your heart free.
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“Faith is a verb described as a noun.” ~ William Backus
“We rely on the love God has for us. God is love.
There is no fear in love.
But perfect love drives out fear.” 1John4:16-18
I used to tell myself, “I have to stop being a perfectionist!”.
Can anyone else hear the irony of those words?
One of the biggest traps I often fall into is the notion that I can get rid of perfectionism.
If only I had more confidence in myself…
If only I could let go of the past…
If only I trusted God more…
If only…
All this If-Only thinking accomplished only one thing: stepping forward and doing what God’s put on my heat to do as His Beloved.
God hasn’t been waiting for me to be better.
God has been longing to love me deeper — more than I had ever dared to imagine.
An Experiment
You and I don’t have to wait until we are free from perfectionism to start taking new steps.
I have gone through a lot of re-starts in my life. One thing I’ve found consistent: the voice of perfectionism always tries to stop me.
The newer the step, the louder the criticisms of perfectionism hisses.
It’s become so predictable that I came to a startling conclusion: the pull towards perfectionism isn’t going away. On this side of heaven, these critical voices can’t be annihilated completely.
But, I’ve also found a more powerful truth: the voice of God dares me to step forward anyways, because I am more loved than my imperfection.
Part of being human is experiencing our weaknesses. But, it doesn’t have to control the choices we make.
I’d done a pretty good job of listening to the voices of perfectionism, I decided to try an experiment. What would happen if I started siding with the voice of God’s love?
I did a word study on “perfect” and “love” through the Bible. I began taking The Love Dare.
Take The Love Dare
Using the nuggets I dug up from God’s word, I challenged myself — as a dare — to make choices that reflected my trust in God’s love for me, rather than how I felt about myself.
The Love Dare:
Whenever I get to a fork in the road, I dare to:
1) Stop making decisions based on three things: fear of failure, mistakes or others’ opinions of me.
2) Take the step that reflects only one thing: God’s unconditional love for me.
The Love Dare is based on this key verse:
“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:5b
Top 5 Lies Of Perfectionism & 5 Truths To Set Your Heart Free
As I took The Love Dare, I found some ammo to combat the Top 5 Lies of Perfectionism.
Lie #1. I’m not good enough.
Truth #1: So what. God loves what I’m doing anyways!
“If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness… God’s power works best in my weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9, 11:30
Lie #2. It’s too late.
Truth #2: It’s never too late. God saves the best for last!
“Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.” ~ Jesus turning water into top grade wine. John 2:10
Lie #3. Why bother starting if I can’t finish?
Truth #3: I don’t know how long this will take. But if God’s in it, I’ll make it!
“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
Lie #4. People won’t like me.
Truth #4: Not everyone will. It will hurt, but God still thinks I’m wonderful!
“it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human court; in fact, I do not even examine myself… but the one who examines me is the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 4:3-4
Lie #5.People will hurt me.
Truth #5: Even if that’s true, hurt won’t be my end. God’s love for me still wins in the end!
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…” Genesis 50:20
Set Your Heart Free
I hope you take the Love Dare, as you find yourself at a fork in the road.
It can happen many times during the day, but remember God’s love will never grow tired or weary.
God’s love goes beyond our limits. And nothing — not even perfectionism — can keep God’s love from you.
The voice of God dares us to step forward, because you are more loved than any of our imperfections.
If you are feeling hesitant to go for the blessings God’s put on your heart, don’t hold yourself back because of history or shortcomings in your view.
Jesus isn’t looking for perfect people. He’s eager to show us He can make something beautiful out of our lives today.
Set your new heart free. Do as God prompts you. Loved. As is.
“We rely on the love God has for us. God is love.
There is no fear in love.
But perfect love drives out fear.” 1John4:16-18
What one word in today’s Scripture is setting your heart free today?
How is perfectionism are holding you back?
How is God encouraging you to step forward?
Pull up a chair. Click to comment. Let’s enjoy #OneWordCoffee together.
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#OneWordCoffee Link Up
Soul Writing With Jesus — Together
This new #OneWordCoffee Wednesday series inspires us to create space in a simple way, to be present, hear God’s whispers, to be refreshed & renewed. ?
Every Wednesday, I’ll invite you to stop, pause, & reflect on a One Word prompt.
Share how One Word speaks to you: 1. Simply post a comment (or) 2. Write a blog post, link up on Wednesdays. Visit the post before yours to comment and encourage. Please use the #OneWordCoffee badge (click here) in your post& link back (or) 3. Tag photos #OneWordCoffee on Facebook or Instagram inspired by your one word.
#OneWordCoffee ☕️ A simple invitation to create a new rhythm for your soul. Stop and hear God’s whispers. Let’s swap some stories together.
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12 Comments
What fun to link up with you again!!
I so appreciated your thoughts on perfectionism. I too struggle with it. And the thing that is the hardest about it for me is these two things: 1) worrying that I’m not good enough; and 2) endlessly checking to make sure that I haven’t made a mistake.
God doesn’t want perfect people, He wants transformed people. And since we already wear the righteousness of His Son, we are sorta perfect!! Now, the Holy Spirit just keeps working that perfection out, right?! 🙂
GOD BLESS!
I love that God isn’t waiting for us to “be better,” but He is longing to “love us deeper.” I identify with those lies, and I love the truths you remind us of. Thank you, Bonnie. Blessings and hugs to you!
Perfectionism. Something I constantly go toe to toe with. I used to obsess over so many superficial things when I was younger. Now that I’m older, I still obsess but the things I fuss with are different.
I’m constantly having to remind myself that I am enough, He calls me loved and accepts me how I am. (Even if I forget to cross a few T’s) 😉
Thanks for this sweet reminder Bonnie!
((((HUGS))))
Hi. I am scared. I know you and God tell me not to worry about being perfect. I feel if I don’t everyone I love will leave. My dad has friends that he focuses ALL his love and affection on. Why do they get it all? I graduate high school in a year and even though he is a wonderful dad, I’m scared there is no more room for me.. what do I do?
Dear Bonnie
Once more yours words have refreshed and soothed my soul ! It was just what I knew and needed to hear About my perfectionism and how I know it messes up what My Heavenly Father is so clearly trying to tell me ! I ask for your prayers as I know seasons come and go in our lives as sure as the seasons of the year do ! I want to be faithful in the dry season that envelopes my heart right now and believe his promises and that he is working all things out for my good! Today as I read your blog I realized He already knows what I am feeling and I cannot go by my feelings and I must stay in the word of my Father to hold on to his promises ! This is what my faith in HIM is to hold on tightly and acknowledge what I feel ; but know that it will pass because HIS presence is what I crave and need ! As you said , HE wants to know me more and I must not be afraid of HIS intimacy with me ! So as I close I am reminded of the Psalm 23 that I learnt as a child . The Lord is my Shepherd , I shall not want ( anything but more of him ) …. He makes me to rest in lush green pastures and will always restore my soul …. I will fear no evil ( nor more intimacy with my Lord because he loves me no matter what ) …. My cup runneth over for surely goodness and mercy ( are his gifts to me ) all the days of my life and I will dwell ( be with him in everyway of my soul ) for ever and ever ! Thank you Bonnie my dear friend and sister in Christ ! I love you and thank God for all your talents .
Thanks for sharing these truths. God’s word is our sword against the lies and He is definitely working in me to believe in myself. Number 3 resonates with me deeply. Why bother? Our world is steeped in doing activities that have a definitive pay off. So choosing to follow God’s promptings when sometimes we haven’t an idea how it is going to finish, and maybe even be redirected along the way, can feel kind of lonely. But, yes, with God, we’ll be okay!
Thank you again Bonnie – your words have again spoken to my situation. What a mighty God!. Perfect love drives out fear! I am a perfectionist. I have all those lies you mentioned – 1 to 5 – in my head.. even though I fight it, it keeps coming back.. but the past few days have been different.. God is using all my brothers and sisters in the world to speak to me. Yesterday it was Nick Vujicic’s Facebook status update which said – Don’t limit your challenges, but challenge your limitations!! 😀 Spoke directly to me too.. this post was accompanied by a wonderful picture of little Nick skateboarding. Wow! Powerful! God be with us all. Amen. PS: I am a tea person, but I love this coffee time. God bless the work of your hands.
Just like you, I too am learning his ugly voice after all these years. He doesn’t want us to share our stories. Anything to make a person feel blah, and maybe they will give way to it, curl up in ball and succumb to more of his lies. But this year God has opened my eyes to a lot of lies I had believed and I am literally being made new. After being raised in church and giving my heart to Jesus years ago, I can say this year I really am free. I am not glad anyone else is or ever has been hurt, or has been afraid, or felt bound to some perfect standard -but I am thankful there are other women out there such as yourself, that understand what a battle this is. It makes such a difference when we choose to dwell on His love instead of all those other things. God bless you and I hope you keep sharing what He lays on your heart.
Such simple yet profound words of wisdom to take and digest today. I think even taking the step of not allowing fear to dictate our decisions would be one of the biggest and best steps we take in living free. I know that for me, that would unwind some of those bindings that seem to keep me strapped to perfectionistic living.
Thanks for sharing this.
Blessings,
Dawn
Awesome thoughts and truths. I stuffed around so much starting my new blog because I was afraid I wouldn’t be disciplined and yet now that I have started it, I have more purpose to be disciplined if that makes sense. God had to stick some pretty big signs in front of my nose to get me to stop procrastinating and start writing what was on my heart.
Our Father calls us to be holy not perfect. Sometimes these traits are seen as the same, but they are not. Many deal with perfection tendencies, some personalities more than others. Realizing that God loves us before the foundations of the earth, before we were in our mother’s womb let’s us know that it is not about what we do ,much less doing it perfectly. The huge difference between perfection and holiness is Who is doing the perfecting…… On one hand we are striving and trying to please. Holiness is woven in
God’s children by His Spirit and power as we give up…. He makes us holy… And that is so much better than being perfect.
Several of your points addressed circumstances in my life : 1) Our weaknesses don’t have to control our choices. 2) We ARE good enough (2 Cor. 12:9 & 11:30). 3) It’s NOT too late; God saves the best for last (John 2:10–never thought to read this passage in this context)! Thank you, Bonnie, for being open to God-inspired insights and then sharing them with us.